Young Writers Society

Dear John,


I’m writing this to you although I’ve never talked to you or seen you because I know you exist and because I am positive that you’ll make me so happy some time. Perhaps John isn’t your name, but you are who I know you are. We are so far apart now and I have no idea for how long, and I’m waiting for the mysterious hands of fate to bring us together.

I’m waiting, because you deserve patience. I’m waiting for the day when our roads will intersect after they’ve been apart for so long. I know that my heart is yet too young for love and that neither of us is ready for the other, so I’m waiting, John, and I realize you’re waiting too. I just wish for you to abduct me from this parallel dimension and take me into your world. I want to travel in time just to get to you.

I want to see you, John, and I want you to know I exist. I want to compress the time between now and the day we’ll meet. I want to talk to you now. I need you now. John, I know nothing about you, but it feels like I’m in your mind sometimes. I have so many questions to ask you. . . I know you’re all I ever wanted. I know you have qualities but flaws too. I know you’re human. I know you’re real.

I want – desperately – to know you. I would like you to whisper “I love you” to me. I’ll be waiting, and even if I’ll have to travel the world over to reach you, I promise I’ll find you.

Until then, you’re only in my mind.

John, I love you.

Its a nice piece, I think it was well written. To me this piece is about searching for your type of guy, which is John. I enjoyed reading, but someparts I wasn't able to understand fully. Maybe I just need to read it over again. Keep writting.

Hmmmm...

Intriguing XD

I think a lot of people (me included) can relate to this... Wanting to talk to that person who you're going to fall in love with now, that person who you know is going to make you so happy.

You expressed a lot of great emotion... I thought it was powerful. Touching, really.

I did think it was sort of odd that you decided on the name "John" to represent the person this letter is addressed to. I mean... a "Dear John" letter usually is referring to a letter written by a woman who's leaving her boyfriend/husband... of course, this piece isn't using that meaning at all. I mean, "John" is a very common, simple name, so I suppose it makes sense that you picked the name… it’s just that I was expecting something a lot different then what I read…

Besides that… I can’t really complain. I liked this XD

--
Tabby

Hi there!

Aww this is great. I can completely relate to this, and I bet a lot of people can. Until you meet a person that you can see yourself with, you have this image of them. And this image you display perfectly. I think that you should do a follow up to this, about when you, or your narrator, finds this person. But you have to keep it realistic. I just found someone, and he isn't really how I imagined someone who's special to me to be. He has some of the qualities, but not all; I mean, how many people out there are perfect, really? xD The thing is that you'll always have to make compromises, and I think it would be a great thing to put in the follow up.

Quotes 'N' Comments

I’m here, miles away and I’m waiting for you and me to be brought together by the awkward hands of fate.

So, here you're kind of saying that their first meeting will be awkward. And this doesn't make me happy. When you wrote this line, I feel like you were trying to be poetic, and it kind of backfired on you. Instead of the line being about being awkward, you made the line awkward, which you definitely don't want. In short pieces like this, you don't want anything to be out of the ordinary, or someone will definitely notice, and that may be the last thing they remember about it.

I’m waiting, because you deserve patience. I’m waiting for the day when our roads will intersect after they’ve been apart for so long.

I really like these lines. They're poetic in a beautiful and non-complicated way. They seem to flow. I don't want you to change them, but I'd like you to add another idea to the pile: I think you should talk about how you're not ready for him. You say this is about you; you're on a young writers site, which means you're probably not older than 20. I think you should talk about how you're not old enough for him, not mature enough. There are a lot of things you have to become before you meet the person of your life and get married and settle down; I think you should talk about them.

I really like this! I'd suggest making it longer, adding a few ideas, and maybe write the story of when you do find him. That way you might be able to get some closure and prepare for this man yourself! I also think you should show this to him when you meet him. ^^ That'd be adorable.

Keep writing,

Classy

This story I can relate to because I always wonder who I am going to fall in love with so Iike It because of that and because your emotions were really sincere .

Hey there glitterbox!
First off, I want to say that I really enjoyed reading this because of how easy it was to relate to and because you made your feelings clear. It was a touching and sweet thought to write about it.

My biggest suggestion would be to do something that I know seems drastic, but I'll to explain my point. I would get rid of the John part all together. Instead of "Dear John", you could write "Dear you" or "To my love" (or something of the sort). I understand, and so do the readers, that John is just a symbol, but if you took out the Johns throughout the letter it would make a deeper connection to the person you're actually writing to.

This line:

Perhaps John isn’t your name, but you are who I know you are.

seem to be a little contradictory so if you wrote something like "I may not know your name, but you are who I know you are." it might go with the theme of the note a little better.

Although the John is a symbolic thing, the use of it throughout the letter makes it seem like John actually has a figure. I feel like using 'you' instead would make it more ambiguous.

Well, even though that John issue might seem major, I think it can just be something to experiment with and see if you like it!

Have a lovely night,
Silversun