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Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:52 am
Mickixoxo says...



"Hey... Callum? Are these the books you got at the library yesterday?" I asked, pointing to a stack of ancient-looking books.

"Huh?" he asked as he looked up from his cup of coffee. "Oh, yeah."

I sighed and sat down at the table. I picked up the first of the books, an old leather bound journal. I opened it carefully and looked at the pages, stained from old age and torn at the corners. The words were written in a swirled and elegant hand. Words were spelled in old English and some sections were hard to understand. I turned the first page delicately in one hand and skimmed through the pages. The ancient ink words were almost hypnotizing and I was drawn into the careful calligraphy.

"Shit!" Callum suddenly muttered from the opposite side of the room as the cup he had been holding shattered onto the wooden floor. He knelt down carefully and started to pick the mess up.

"No, wait! Don't touch it," I told him. I got up from the table and walked over to him. He muttered another profound word and dropped the sharp shards of porcelain. He looked down at his finger as a drop of deep crimson blood leaked from the fresh wound. "I told you not to touch it," I muttered and took his hand. "Sheesh, you're like a little kid."

"Well sorry. I've never done this before," he said as he stood up from the floor.

"What, break something?"

"No, I've broken plenty of things, I've just never had to pick them up before. There were always people for that...." He looked away and I sighed, picking up the shards and placing them into a cloth.

"You know, sometimes I wonder where you came from..." I muttered. He didn't respond so I stood up and threw away the broken cup. "Let me see your hand."

"Huh?"

"Your hand. Let me see it. You cut it, didn't you?" I walked over to him and picked his hand up from his side. The edge had just nicked his finger but the blood was still running. I couldn't stand to look at the gross red substance any longer. "Go rinse your finger under the faucet. Use cold water and keep it running until the blood stops."

He walked over to the sink and started to run the water. I went over to one of the cupboards and grabbed a package of band-aids.

"It's not stopping," he suddenly said in a bored tone.

"Keep running it under the water," I told him.

"Shy, it's still bleeding."

"Shut up, I told you not to call me that."

"But, Shy, it's still bleeding."

"You told me that already!"

"It's really bleeding, Shy."

"Would you shut up and come here already? Gosh, you seriously are like a big baby," I sighed, frustrated. He was obviously trying to annoy me and it was working. He always did that, call me by his stupid nickname and say things that got on my nerves. But then suddenly he would stop and do something even stupider, like kiss me. He really didn't make any sense, what-so-ever.

He smirked and walked over to me. I took a dirty cloth from the counter and dried off his hand. "Hold still," I muttered as I placed the bandage delicately around his finger. "There," I sighed and threw away the wrappers. I leaned against the counter and looked at Callum. He was holding up his finger and looking at it. I rolled my eyes. "What the heck are you staring at? You're finger is fine. How do you feel?" I asked him.

"Honestly? A little disappointed..."

"Why?"

"Well aren't you supposed to like... suck on it until the blood stops or something?" he asked, still looking at his finger, a crease between his eyebrows.

"That's for poisonous bites, stupid. If you get bit by a snake or something you're supposed to suck the venom out. You got scratched by a cup, get over it." I rolled my eyes at his stupidity and walked away. I walked across the living room and was about to head up the stairs when he called my name. I turned around and was surprised to see him directly behind me. He closed the distance and put his hands on either side of me, trapping me against the wall. He leaned forward and rested his arm on the wall above my head. He started to peal the bandage around his finger off with his teeth.

"Hey, wait!" I said, "Don't do that, I just put it on!" I started getting frustrated. Seriously! What was wrong with this guy? He smirked and spit the torn bandage away. He looked into my eyes and suddenly my breathing hitched and my heart beat faster. His deep blue eyes boar into mine and he leaned even closer. He held his finger up and placed it onto my lips.

"Lick it," he said.

"W... What are you talking about?"

"You heard me. Lick it. Pretend that I got bit my a deadly snake and you need to suck the venom out." His expression was serious and he suddenly looked like an actual seventeen year old, and not just a child. "I could always leave again, you know." I was surprised by this sudden seriousness and he took advantage of that moment by slipping his finger into my mouth. The taste of blood had lingered, though the flow if it had stopped. I closed my eyes against the dizziness and decided to just do what he said.

Silently I ran my tongue over his finger and sucked absentmindedly until the taste of blood stopped. He slid his finger out of my mouth and trailed it down my chin until he was cupping my chin in his hand. I looked up at him, clearing my face of all emotion and looking into his eyes. He looked amused but somewhat serious at the same time. My heart was still beating fast as he leaned closer to me.

"This is blackmail," I said, glad that my voice sounded calmer than I felt.

"But considering the fact that I'm blackmailing you with leaving, it's kind of sweet. Don't you think?" He smiled, once again looking more boyish and innocent.

"Call- mph." I tried to tell him to stop but his lips had already captured mine. He was always doing this! Always taking advantage of situations like this. His lips moved against mine and I gave up in trying to shove him away. Fine. If he wanted a kiss, he'll get one. I mentally smirked and decided to give him a show, moving my lips in sync with his. My heart raced and, for a fleeting second, I almost forgot that I was only humoring him. He pulled away and I opened my eyes. Bored, I stared back into his.

We were both breathing hard and I'm sure that I was somewhat pink-faced. I managed to calm down my breathing and cleared my throat. In the dullest tone I could muster I sighed.

"Am I done, now?" I asked, as if the kiss we just shared was merely a business deal, which, technically, it was.

"... Yes," he said and finally backed away and let me go. I walked up the stairs in a normal pace and, as I passed him, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smirk. "You'll come around. You'll see," he muttered softy with a hint of amusement in his soft voice.
Last edited by Mickixoxo on Tue Apr 19, 2011 3:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:38 am
UnicornNerd says...



This was very interesting and kept mr glued to the page the entire time. Well done. I hope I see more of it. I think I'll check out your novel.
  





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Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:24 pm
vtgirl13 says...



Really interesting! Very suspenseful and mysterious. It got confusing at times but it works. Keep writing!
  





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Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:44 pm
theotherone says...



Hello there. :)

I'll begin with the nitpicks and the go on with my overall impression of your story.
The ancient ink words were almost hypnotizing and they were drawn into the careful calligraphy.

I think you meant the words were drawn in a careful calligraphy...?
I couldn't stand to look at the gross red substance any longer.

"You heard me. Lick it. Pretend that I got bit by a deadly snake and you need to suck the venom out."

I was a little confused considering that they the lived with each other... Why? How did he come to live with her? why didn't she want him to leave? These are just a few questions that you could answer in order to make us a little bit less confused with your story.
I liked it. It was funny, and somehow intriguing, since the guy wants her to suck his finger... Which is really weird, if you ask me. ;)

Keep on writing!

-Other One
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Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:48 am
Haylie says...



Wow! That's really good :')
I couldn't stop reading it.
I like how you write too (:
Keep on writing (y)
  





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Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:47 am
Qoh16 says...



This was a really good story, i couldn't stop reading. It sort of reminds me of Never-Ending Story. And I saw that movie like a billion times. So that's a good thing. haha. But the only thing I saw really was:

I couldn't stand to look at the gross read substance any longer.


It should read "I couldn't stand to look at the gross red substance any longer." Other than that I think you are good. Keep up the great job. Good Luck. And Keep Writing!!!!! :)
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Fri Apr 29, 2011 1:20 pm
Fortissimo says...



"Call- mph." I tried to tell him to stop but his lips had already captured mine. He was always doing this! Always taking advantage of situations like this.


This part is a bit confusing in two ways. One, I'm not sure what you mean by "Call-mph." It isn't very clear. Also, you didn't explain why Callum was blackmailing you. I can feel it as a mystery, sort of, so if that's what you were going for, then good job!

Over all, the feel is good and the tone is awesome. Beautifully written! Keep writing!!!!!!

~Forti:)
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Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:19 pm
Amfliflier says...



Haha. I liked this. Don't be offended, I said "Haha" because I know someone named Callum and these people were nothing alike! ;) Anyways, I really liked this piece. The description and the emotion were really good, and just overall it was a great piece. Awesome job! :)
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