Note Before Reading:
This is a very, very, very rough draft! I have been having writer's block lately, so need lots, lots, lots of help! I don't think I have enough detail, and dialouge may be awkward at times. I am really not used to writing this genre - this is actually my first time trying out something like this, so please forgive me and don't be afraid to rip it apart in your reviews, as long as it helps me improve. There is a poem that goes along with this story called Ludicrous Love, if you would check it out (viewtopic.php?t=77641). Also, there are two doodles of the characters here: viewtopic.php?t=77571 (the second and third pictures). Oh, and one more thing - I think there is going to be a final section to wrap the whole story up, but I need to write that, so I'm sorry if this one doesn't have a great ending.
This is not a romance story, I'm regretting that I put it in the 'Romance' genre. Very sorry about that!! So, here goes the story of Taiyo and Aiko...
Dang it. Deep crimson blood that was almost black rolled down the thumb I held in the air. My brow furrowed as I examined the wound - a small nick I had gotten from ripping off a hangnail. Hangnails irritate me to no end, thus I’ve received countless injuries the same way. It’s weird but – I gazed at the blood, glinting in the glare of the classroom lights. A flickering smile crossed my face – the blood is kinda pretty.
I think I knew at the time how bizarre I looked, sitting at my desk and staring at the scarlet drop slowly creeping down my finger. Even if I didn’t, I was promptly reminded with a sharp glare from one of my sorta-friends, followed by hushed whisperings of, “Eh... What’s she doing?” Sigh. Maybe I’m not fit to have a social life.
Lord, I prayed, Thank you for my parents that love me. Thank you that I can live in a comfortable house. I’m so grateful for these things… but… is there something… something missing?
I shut my eyes tight, looking deeply the cavernous void I felt somewhere in my life. Was it a gap between reality and my own little world? Or was it the hole between me and my peers? I rejected others for excluding me, yet sometimes I couldn’t stand being alone. The thoughts swirling in my head just made me want to scream!
This is not to say everyone in my school is a jerk. There are so many kind people, but it seems that I’m the problem. The way I think, the way I see the world seems to be different from everyone else. Even I don’t know what’s going on in my head sometimes. Somehow, at the begining of my life, I chose to look through a ruby while others picked an emerald. I chose to sit in the rain, to watch, as everyone else bathed in the sun. So I understand what it’s like to be those good people around me. They want to be hospitable to the girl sitting in the corner, yet at the same time if we don’t really click it just doesn’t work. Conversation is forced. It’s the sad truth.
Class was beginning, so I hurriedly shoved the wounded thumb into my mouth and got rid of the blood that way, despite piercing dagger looks from the people around me. My blood always tasted like metal, and I didn’t particularly enjoy the sensation nor hate it. All I knew was that I resented using napkins or paper towels to clean up the mess. Who want to have a bloody tissue staring at you all day? Why not just use the natural way? In my mind, every reason pointed toward my method as the most logical.
Hah. Logic. Like the world really runs on logic.
“New student today!” my teacher announced with her annoyingly bright smile. What is wrong with me? Why am I so bitter? “He just arrived. Please come up here and introduce yourself. Everyone pay attention.”
A boy I hadn’t noticed before stood up roughly from his desk in the back. His longer, spiky hair threw shadows across his eyes and he was wearing a grey sleeveless sweatshirt with an odd pattern on the front. It looked to me like a bird spreading its wings and soaring in front of the sun. The base shape was a red diamond, but from the central image emerged black feather-like, sweeping strokes that portrayed power and swoosh! The design in itself suggested movement. As he walked to the front of the classroom, his posture was very straight, but his head kept looking at the floor.
“I am Taiyo Sato.” Finally lifting his gaze, the black bangs revealed an Asian face that held the promise of a smile, though at the time no emotion showed.
“Do you want to tell us anything about yourself?” the teacher asked. “Where did you move here from?”
“Not far.”
“Oh… well, I’m sure the other students will love to hear about all that later. Everyone please welcome Taiyo warmly and…” She scanned the room for a victim. Unfortunately, right at that moment I was distracted by a bug on the ceiling, and the teacher pounced. “Aiko, why don’t you show Taiyo around and make sure he knows where he’s going?”
I never understood why the teachers always pose that sentence as a question. It’s not like we can say, “No, I don’t think so. Ask someone else,” or anything. I reluctantly nodded my head.
“Good. You can sit down now, Taiyo.”
The kid looked troublesome, just the kind of person to tease me about how weird I am. My jaw involuntarily bit on my upper lip and I was starting to dread having to talk to him. At the end of class when the bell rang, I hesitantly walked over to his desk as he was gathering his books. He barely glanced up at me as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. I stared at his back for a while. It was straight, sturdy. Then he finally turned around.
“Uh… hi?” I greeted quite ungracefully. “I’m Aiko Sanaka. Do you know where your next class is?”
He nodded and replied in an unexpectedly quiet voice, “I was shown all my classes on a tour yesterday.” His voice was very strong despite the low volume, but there was something in the expression that was different from most teenage boys.
He knows his way around. Maybe I won’t be needed after all.
“So… I can go then? I guess I’ll see you around.” Almost relieved, I turned around and started to head to my next class when something stopped me. I looked back, and there he was, his head down and his hand firmly grasping the collar of my shirt almost as a young child would.
Still gazing at the floor, he asked timidly, “Will you still come with me? I’ve never been in a school this big.”
I think I almost laughed. Not at him, but at the thought that someone so intimidating could have such an innocent demeanor. For the first time that day I smiled and, surprised, he looked up at me with naïve, childlike eyes and smiled back warmly.
“Thank you, Aiko!” His head cocked in the most sincere and natural way. Looking back, how could I have ever seen anything but this socialable kid?
It turned out his next class was the same as mine – Algebra with Mrs. Takumi. The classes are usually organized alphabetically, so I expected to be in at least a few of his. The idea didn’t seem so bad anymore. Walking down the hallway was surprisingly comfortable, and I found out a lot more about Taiyo.
“I lived about an hour away from here,” he explained. “But my family wanted a bigger house because I just got twin siblings a few years ago. They’re growing fast.” For a moment, Taiyo seemed caught up in some memory, but he soon returned. “My old school wasn’t as big as this one. I’m sorry for making you come with me.”
“Oh.” I didn’t really hear what he said; I was too distracted. Looking over at him, I could see that he was only slightly taller than me with dark hair and eyes. When you first glance at him he seems like a troublemaker, a delinquent. Looking closer, sometimes you could notice little gestures that were childlike and sweet. Somehow I felt a connection to the boy – he was different.
An irritating ringing assaulted my senses as the lunch bell went off. Gathering my things, I was startled to find Taiyo suddenly behind me. With a jerk I launched from my seat and stumbled madly backwards, almost crashing to the floor. I regained my balance as fast as I could, but some students were still peering at us worridly and wondering if they should move farther away.
“Taiyo! Don’t sneak up on people like that!” I whispered agressively. My fist met his arm, though not too roughly. He seemed unfazed by the action and only laughed, holding up his hands submissively. Had we really just met? It felt like we were childhood friends and, to be honest, the whole thing amazed me. I had never talked to someone this way – so relaxed and at ease.
“Sorry,” he apologized, grinning. As we walked into the hall, kids rushed by in a noisy river, anxious to get to lunch. Outside the school, we were just heading towards the tables outside the cafeteria when some of my classmates approached us in a cheerful assembly.
“Hey Taiyo!” one of them, a girl, called. The whole group swarmed around Taiyo. Soon I was pushed to the edges with more and more people coming between Taiyo and me. In a moment, I was shoved out of the group to stumble backwards, stunned. All the students laughed cheerily, not noticing me at all, asking questions and joking with Taiyo.
“Where are you from?”
“You’re cute Taiyo!”
“You want to hang out sometime?”
All I seemed to be able to do was stare vacantly at the crowd. The group was so thick I had lost sight of Taiyo behind all the people. I wanted to reach out, to pull him back to my side, because I felt that once he was gone he would never come back. Here I was – on the outside, alone, and simply observing a loud and exciting scene. It was always like this. Always. No one ever thought to include me. For some reason, my eyes became damp and suddenly there was a single, lonely tear streaming down my face. Why was I crying? Wasn’t it always like this? And, come to think of it…
…isn’t this…
…my fault?
I never tried to fit in, never tried to conform. I stuck to my strange ways and didn’t care what people thought of me, yet I still wished for friends. It’s an impossible situation, I thought.
My shoulders stiffened as sobs racked my body and my chest tightened. A rage toward myself welled up in my heart, forcing silent tears to flow in rivulets down my face. This was worse than bullying – this was isolation! And it was my fault! The realization shook my emotional foundation as I walked to the bathrooms, leaving a wake of tears in my path. I ate lunch there, alone and not expecting to ever talk to Taiyo again. Once he met the normal kids at this school, he would realize how dumb I am and probably ignore me like all the rest of them. I had to admit, I would desperately miss that innocent smile, that warm aura. Pulling my shirt collar to wipe my face, I imagined I could still sense where he had reached out and touched me.
Students around scurried out of my way the next class, avoiding me even more than normal. Anxious glances were cast at my hunched, depressed figure, surrounded as I was by a dark cloud of misery. My footsteps were mere shuffles, my short hair untidy and ignored. I would never get the chance talk to Taiyo again, and it was affecting me more than I had anticipated. He was just so nice that anyone would want to be near him. I envied the person who got to become his closest friend.
I sat down and immediately slumped in my chair, covering my head with my arms. I didn’t want anyone to see my red and puffy face. I didn’t want them to know I was crying, because that would lead to questions that I couldn’t answer. I felt disheartened and out of sorts until suddenly, there was a hand ruffling my hair. My head jerked up to face the bright smile of-
Taiyo!
“Hey!” I exclaimed, eyes wide. For some reason my spirit got really excited and a joyful thought struck me like a stone to my temple, He’s still here!
“Hey,” he replied. Now he was talking to me! Could it get any better? “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I almost whispered, feeling lighthearted and relived. “I’m okay now. Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, confused. He tilted his head in that same puppy-dog way, and I could smell his distinctive scent.
I shook my head. “Nothing. Nevermind.”
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me!” he whined, putting his hand on the top of my head and shaking gently.
“No chance.”
“Come on, please…”
“Uh-uh.”
I turned away, trying to wipe my eyes and lighten the bright flush of my cheeks. Though my smile was genuine now, would anyone notice I had been crying? Right after thinking this, Taiyo grabbed my chin, forcing my face towards his. I averted my eyes hastily. “You’ve been crying, haven’t you?”
Guess that answers that question.
“You don’t want people to see you crying, either, right?” he said, his brow furrowing in concern. Man, he’s good.
“Well, it doesn’t matter, I’m okay now!” I assured, pulling away from his hand and putting on my best happy front, though a lingering sniff gave away my true emotions.
“Yes, it does matter. Can I help?” he offered. He seemed to go into deep thought. He knew I was agonizing over my red face, but I didn’t think there was anything he could do. Turns out I was wrong.
“How could you- ?” I started, but before I could finish, he had run to his backpack. What was he planning? I sensed that Taiyo would go to great lengths to help someone in need, and the thought made me very nervous.
He appeared behind my chair, holding something in his hand. How does he even do that – materialize so unexpectedly? I could feel him towering over where I sat, his presence clearly defined.
“Sorry,” he apologized with a grin before he grabbed my hair, pulling my head back and dumping his bottle of water on my face. The water ran sleek down my cheeks, rushing, splashing down below. When Taiyo let go, I simply stayed there with my head looking straight towards the ceiling, too surprised to even move.
The teacher, eating a snack at her desk, looked over at us and didn’t know what to think. For a moment, everyone in the classroom was silent and staring. “Detention!” shrieked the teacher, breaking the tense atmosphere. “Taiyo, what were you thinking!?”
“Sorry, ma’am,” he apologized, though a smile still twitched at the corners of his mouth.
I was stunned. I sat staring into space as my hand slowly reached up to touch a piece of my soaking wet hair. I… I was starting to see why he had done that. Inexorably, now I was the center of sympathy. To others, my face was obviously wet from the water and red from the embarrassment. I looked down at my clothes and noticed that they were completely dry – when he had pulled my head back, the extra water had simply gone on the floor. But still, Taiyo had made himself appear as the bad guy for my sake.
Oddly enough, it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I offered to help him clean up the water on the floor, but the teacher wouldn’t allow it. She simply wrote an after-school detention pass and ordered him back to his desk, her eyes threatening murder (or at least Saturday School) if he acted up again. Class went on as usual, despite hushed giggles and whispers.
After school, I waited for Taiyo in the spot we had arranged to meet, and he came running up. His chest was heaving as his breath came in rasps, and he kept having to lean on his knees.
Through pants, he finally managed to gasp out a complete sentence. “I have to go serve my detention, but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
I had thought about it and decided I needed to do something to show my appreciation. “I’ll wait for you through your detention, but then can you come over to my house? Please?”
“Aiko, I’d love to but I have to watch my siblings after school and- ”
“It’s fine!” I interrupted. “You can bring them too, okay? Just please come.”
“Alright,” he agreed. “But I got to go now!” He rushed off and left me to ponder how I would spend the hour or so waiting for him.
Ah, there he is. A blur came racing towards me as I sat waiting outside the Discipline Office for Taiyo. He crashed into me with a thump, black hair brushing my face. Before I knew it I was surrounded by strong arms and pressed close to a grey, sleeveless sweatshirt with a strange design on the front.
“Aiko!” Taiyo cried, embracing me and pinning my hands to my side in the process. I squirmed uneasily.
“What is it? What happened?” I asked, tilting my head to look up at him. His face was anguished and he teetered on the brink of tears. Had he been bullied? I swore to myself that if anyone had been mean to him I would personally murder them.
Taiyo ceased his bone-crushing hug and held me at a distance by my shoulders, his eyes darting to meet each of mine. What was wrong?
“Aiko, someone told me that you cut yourself. You know, like you’re depressed or something.”
“What!?” I exclaimed angrily. “Who told you that?”
He looked away. “Some girl, just a couple minutes ago. But is it true? I don’t want you hurting yourself.”
He…
…he cared that much?
Taiyo’s face held genuine worry – he was really concerned about me. I smiled and tried to imitate the tilt of his head.
“It’s okay, Taiyo, I don’t cut myself. Don’t worry.”
“But… but…” he stammered, his lip trembling.
“I think this is a misunderstanding. Get your siblings, come over to my house, and I’ll explain later. Okay? Don’t worry.” I reached up and ruffled his rough black hair, but I felt I wasn’t too skilled at comforting people.
Taiyo bit his lip, but apparently decided to trust me and nodded his head. We started walking home – we went the same way for the first part of our trip. Our footsteps synchronized in a steady rhythm. I listened to the resounding slap of our shoes on the concrete and thought about how baffled I was as to how one person could be this kind. I had experienced love and consideration, but only from my parents and family – very rarely from anyone my age. I felt desperate to return that kindness in any way I could. But for now, a subject change would help.
“So what are your siblings like?” I asked, as this seemed like a topic he would enjoy talking about. It was.
His face lit up, bright as a desert sun. “My brother and sister are the best! They’re six-year-old twins and I... Well, to be honest, they're two of the most important people in my life.” He looked away, slightly embarassed at the confession. “Ryuu, my brother, is as happy as ever and he loves playing with me. But…” Taiyo’s face fell. It grew so quiet between us I thought I heard his heart break. “Something seems to be bothering Hina. She’s not as loud and positive as usual. It makes me so sad… I can’t do anything. I’m supposed to be her big brother, someone strong in her life. Yet, I'm not even strong enough to know what's wrong.” Taiyo’s long dark bangs fell over his eyes when he stared down at the sidewalk. It was as if the answers to all life’s questions were written there.
“I think you're definately strong enough, Taiyo,” I barely whispered. I felt I had no right to be saying this, but I said it anyway. "Please don't give up." The road where we parted ways was approaching, so I waved goodbye and turned my eyes away from the miserable boy walking in the opposite direction.
It’s such a nice day. So warm.
“Hey Aiko!” Taiyo ran up to the place where I was sitting in the grass, just outside my house. The sun was behind his head, so as I looked up at him all I saw was the dark shadow of his face, but I thought I could vaguely see a silhouette around his head. A bandana, perhaps? Either way, his twinkling eyes outshone everything. A young boy and girl followed him, both with the same face and dark hair. Taiyo plopped down beside me and called the young children over. “These are my brother and sister – Ryuu and Hina. Say hi to Aiko, okay?”
“Hi Aiko!” Ryuu smiled brightly and waved his tiny hand. Just like a mini-Taiyo, he ran up to me and gave me a big hug. “Let’s be friends, okay?” I beamed back and nodded. Ryuu laughed merrily and jumped up and down.
Hina was farther away - staring straight ahead into space with a downcast expression. Her weight shifted from foot to foot, and the corners of her mouth were turned down in a frown. You could almost see a dank cloud of sorrow above her head.
“Hina, come say hi,” Taiyo beckoned. The young girl looked at the ground and bit her lip nervously.
There was something enveloping, circling like a mist. Emotions swirled from the girl, grey and depressing. I recognized the feeling. It was the type of atmosphere around someone who was lonely. Someone who was starved for love, or at least a different kind of love.
“Hina, come here a second,” I called. The girl looked up, surprised. Her gaze immediately shifted to Taiyo for guidance. Taiyo nodded his head and encouraged her on.
Hina hesitantly and with tiny steps walked toward me. In an impulse, I did something I probably never would have done if I hadn't met Taiyo. I'm still not sure if it was his courage reaching out to me, or simply his bright energy. Either way, I extended my arms to Hina and did what I thought Taiyo would want me to do. The theory, I think, was that hugs seemed to be magical in Taiyo’s family.
Immediately, Hina’s faced brightened, and her eyes lit up.
“You’re a girl!” she exclaimed. I was not expecting this. “I thought you were a boy like my brothers.”
“Come on, Hina. How many times do I have to tell you? Just because people have short hair does not mean they’re a boy,” Taiyo scolded.
I had just been staring at her up until this point, but now I laughed. “It’s okay, I’ve actually had that happen several times.”
Hina was pouting at Taiyo, but she turned to me and spread her arms wide. “Will you be my sister?” Her head cocked in the exact same way that Taiyo’s did. I nodded. She shrieked in delight. “I’ve always wanted a sister!” I was buried in her little hug.
“I wanna hug Aiko, too!” Ryuu protested, and he too threw open his arms and joined in the embrace.
I knew what was coming next. Taiyo grinned - he knew that I realized it. “My turn!” he shouted, and wrapped his arms around all three of us. We tumbled over and crashed into a heap. Panting, and laughing in the sun, I prayed desperately that things could always be like this.
Taiyo sat up cross-legged, and leaned his elbows on his knees. “So if you’re my sister’s sister, does that mean you’re my sister too?”
I pondered the thought. “I guess so.”
“Alright!” Taiyo exclaimed, tackling his new sister – me, head locking her and ruffling her hair until she threatened to kill him through bursts of laughter. “Okay, okay! Your hair was a mess to begin with, anyways,” he teased. I shoved him away.
“Oh. Almost forgot,” Taiyo said, reaching up and taking the black bandana that was around his forehead. As I looked closer, I could see it had some scribbles that could almost be made out to say ‘Ryuu’, ‘Hina’, and ‘Taiyo’. “Ryuu made this at school. He said I was supposed to give it to someone special to me, and that person only wears it when they're around me. So here. See, it had all our spirits on it, so even when you don't wear it, we'll be with you.”
He held the bandana out to me, and it dangled there, gently rustling in the wind. My arm reached out to take it as my vision blurred behind soft tears. I stared at the piece of fabric in my hand. Ryuu, Hina, Taiyo. So this is what it felt like to have siblings. To have friends.
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