This is a story I've been kinda working on off and on again. This isn't the beginning, this is actually a few pages into it, but I didn't really want to post the very beginning of it so...this is it. The background is basically that this girl is going through a rough time in her life because her sister recently committed suicide, and she is now pregnant with her sister's boyfriend's baby (of course nobody knows that). Very complicated. Let me know what you think.
“How was school this week?”
I glance up from my bed where I sit holding my hamster Chloe. My mother is standing in my doorway. Her hair is slightly disheveled, but she is still in her work attire. I wonder if she’s had a rough day at work.
“It was alright,” I say stroking Chloe’s head.
“Any plans for the weekend?”
I shake my head no.
“Well…I’m sure Shanna misses you,” mom has to add.
I sigh. “We’re different now,” I say. “And I’m sure she doesn’t.”
“Suit yourself then,” she says a defeated look in her blue eyes. “I’m off to the shower.”
She lingers in my doorway a moment longer before heading down the hall to her room. I let out the breath I’ve been subconsciously holding in.
Shanna Barker. My neglected best friend. For the last three months I haven’t spoken to her and I don’t know why. I only know that I can’t relate to her anymore. She cares about boys, clothes, and her future. I don’t. And my mom is probably right. Shanna misses me. I’m not sure I feel the same way.
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“All right Ms. Wood,” Mrs. Dunn says at the beginning of class. “It has officially been seven days.”
She approaches me when there aren’t very many students around. She folds her burly arms across her chest and scrutinizes me. Her muscles and her eyes are scary, but surprisingly I’m not afraid.
My stomach churns when she says this. I know what she’s talking about. For the last week I’ve gotten out of P.E. with the excuse of my period, which technically I haven’t had in two months. But that fact aside I no longer have an excuse to sit out.
It’s not that I’m afraid of how I’ll play; I was born an athlete. I’m afraid of being noticed, of being a part of something. I’ve forgotten how.
I can see it in Mrs. Dunn’s eyes that she wants me to play. She knows how good I am. She blows her whistle and the rest of the class gathers on the soccer field. Why didn’t I look at our syllabus beforehand? Soccer was my sport.
Mrs. Dunn chose two team captains and I watched, horrified, as our names were called one by one. But the source of my horror stemmed mainly from the slight girl who stood only five feet in front of me.
Shanna’s eyes scan the row of us, perhaps looking for a face she recognizes. It’s the first time I’ve seen her in my P.E. class and I wonder if she’s transferred over. I notice she’s cut her hair over the summer and it now rests at her shoulders. Her eyes are a dark brown, the same color as her hair, and they meet mine.
“Cerra,” she calls. It sounds foreign to me. Why is she calling my name?
“Cerra?” Mrs. Dunn says motioning for me to move to my team. My feet move forward even though I tell them not to. I stand next to Shanna, but keep a distance.
The rest of the names are called and the captains immediately start picking their starting players.
“I want you Cerra,” Shanna says turning her dark eyes towards me. Her words barely register in my mind. “Forward,” she says declaring my position. No one objects.
She hands out the rest of the positions and the remaining students saunter to the sidelines to wait their turn. I remain with them.
“Aren’t you coming?” Shanna asks turning back. Everyone else has run to his or her positions.
I shake my head. This is too weird. Not a word about the fact that I haven’t spoken to her in three months?
She frowns and then quickly calls out to one of the few on the sidelines. “Marcy! You’re my new forward!” Marcy, a girl with long blonde hair and legs eagerly takes her position. Shanna continues to stare at me from where she stands. I wonder what she wants to say.
Before I know it the game is on. I watch halfheartedly as my team struggles to score. I don’t really care, but something inside of me protests that I do. It is an inkling of something that used to be there, perhaps pride or team spirit? Especially when it turns out my team is going to be creamed beyond measure.
I don’t recognize the boy that is the teams other forward, but he is as fast as lightning and he has managed to steal the ball from Marcy every time she makes it near the goal. No one else on the team seems to be able to keep him away from our goal for that matter.
He is tall, lean and tan. I also notice that he has thick sandy blonde hair and that he is hardly breaking a sweat. I wonder if he plays for a local team. He scores again and Mrs. Dunn blows her whistle and indicates it is time for the players to switch out.
“Good work Davis,” I hear her say to the young man as he exits to the sidelines. A couple of the guys slap him high fives and he grins at them. He has nice teeth.
Shanna is coming my way. She looks tired and disappointed. She sits right next to me.
“Are you going to play?” she asks.
I shake my head for the millionth time that day. The answer is always no.
“We could sure use you,” she comments. I ignore it.
I do my best to keep my eyes glued to the bodies running around on the field, but I can’t get rid of that nagging feeling. She is sitting right next to me. Should I say something? Anything?
“How’s your mom?” The question is somewhat unexpected. I’m used to everyone asking how I am. It’s a more comfortable question.
“Fine,” I reply. My voice is quiet.
Shanna looks at me more closely. It makes me extremely self-conscious.
“And you?” She had to ask it.
“Fine,” I say again. It sounds so fake. I know it won’t get past her.
“Are you really?” she presses. She draws her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.
The sun is beginning to fade and a cool breeze blows by.
“Yes,” I say my throat dry.
She clears her throat. “If you ever need to talk…”
“Thanks,” I cut her off. I don’t mean to be rude, but she’s making me feel so guilty. I have totally and completely cut her out of my life. Why is she still talking to me?
A number of awkward minutes pass before Mrs. Dunn finally blows the whistle signaling the end of class. I quickly get up and hurry to the locker room to change before Shanna can ask me anything else.
more?
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