that was a really cool idea, good job! i had to read the last paragraph twice. If you rewrote it, that would pretty much take care everything I thought could be improved.
KJ--i remember that movie! never thought i'd hear about it on YWS.
Am I a one eyed hunter of unicorns or a hunter of one eyed unicorns? The world may never know.
It's a nice concept, and the writing isn't bad to go with it. I don't have any critiques that haven't already been touched on, so I can't be of much help. The only thing I can say to try to help just a little bit would be to make it a little more clear toward the end. It seemed kind of abrupt when the guy died (?), and lost feelings for her. Give us some why's and how's please.
Other than that, this piece was not bad. Not bad at all.
Keep up the good work =D
-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett
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Reviews: 112