If you could rate the character names, that would be great, too.
Across the ocean, a fire descended over the tired waters, slashing the empty sky with strikes of orange and pink. Kalani and Drake sat on a beach a million miles away from the battle between the dark and light, watching the colorful violence while basking in the heat. A slight breeze stirred up off the ocean, lifting Kalani’s long, brown hair ever so slightly before gently putting it back in place. The wind carried her flowery scent to Drake, and he inhaled, loving her scent; after the subtle harshness of the salt and sand, it always pleased him to smell a tender flower.
“I am so glad you’re back, Drake,” she said, looking at him with her chocolate eyes. “It’s been a long six weeks.”
“At least you had Hannah for company, though,” Drake replied, smiling.
“Yea,” she said, thoughtful. “But I’ve missed you.” They stared at each other for centuries, only letting the images of their eyes occupy their minds. Hers were intimately brown and sweet like puppy paws, and his were sharp blue like fishing pools in the mountains.
“I’ve missed you, too,” he said, breaking the silence, but not their eye contact; he absorbed her beauty into his mind. Her face looked refined, and quite lovely, and he was disappointed when she looked away in shyness.
“How was the drama camp?” she asked, staring at the sand around her toes. “Did you like the plays you did?”
“Yes, yes I did,” Drake said, a gleam in his eye. “I learned a lot. My favorite unit was the one on Shakespearean plays.”
“Really?” she said. “Did you perform any?”
“Yea,” he replied, knowing exactly where to take the conversation. “I was cast as King Lear! It was a fun part. Have you ever seen it? I can quote lines.”
“No,” Kalani answered, disappointed, “I can’t say I have. The only Shakespeare play I’ve seen is Romeo and Juliet.” Drake had already known that; he took her to see it before he left at the beginning of the summer.
“I can still quote lines,” he said, grinning. He scooted over and took one of Kalani’s small hands in his masculine ones, looking into her chocolate pools as he said
“If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:”
Kalani’s pulse fluttered with every word that escaped his lips as he finished Romeo’s line.
“My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”
With that, they leaned toward each other, but both stopped a mere inch away from each other’s faces. They held completely still, statuesque except for their hearts were beating rapidly like drums in their ears, then they each fell forward just enough for their lips to meet. Drake took his hand and brought it up to behind her warm neck, wrapping it in her long hair. Kalani’s heart was racing, for she never suspected that Drake would ever come so near to her face, but her conscience was pushed aside as she savored the moment of affection. After a moment, they parted, their faces still close together.
“I want you to know that I think you are beautiful,” he said, gazing into her eyes. “I’ve wanted to tell you, but I’ve didn't know how you would react. As a friend, I shouldn't lie to you anymore: you are the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and,” he bit his tongue, briefly wondering the prudence of what he was about to say, “I adore you.”
Kalani sat speechless, still in Drake’s embrace, but she beamed in a radiant happiness that magnified her beauty for him. “I…I-” she tried so hard to get the three words past her stuttering tongue, then settled for letting her lips find his again, and just for a moment, knowing that she was wanted.
“I love you too,” she said quietly, after the spell was over. Then, the fire was extinguished just over the horizon, and Drake walked his sweetheart safely home, singing softly in her ear.
(Not that I hate it the way it is, I just think you could improve it.)
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