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F-ing Ninjas



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Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:54 pm
yoha_ahoy says...



Fucking Ninjas

She entered the room wearing a deep violet dress, with a corset-like bust and a darker, near-black skirt. Her arm was extended from her body and she held her hand gracefully outstretched, for alight it sat a bird. It looked to be falcon with its curved beak and rapturous talons, but it was the size of a songbird. She flicked her hand gently and the bird took flight. It flapped its wings a couple times, quickly finding its way to the nearest rafter above the room.

The girl found her way to the stereo on the lone table in the room, next to the long bench against one wall. She turned it on and set it to an up-tempo waltz after shuffling through some CD’s. Her straight, dark brown hair fell midway between her shoulder blades. The music turned on before she finally set her eyes on me. She walked over to where I sat midway down the bench, her heels echoing throughout the cavernous room. A smile played purposefully on her lips.

Her dress swished. Next thing I knew, I was on my feet. The room spun about me and her breath was on my collarbone, her temple at my cheek. By instinct, my hand immediately tightened on her waist as I led. Her style and flair in capturing me were intoxicating. I didn’t know what to do with my thoughts.

Eventually, after we had circuited the room a few times, the song ended. It must have been the last track of an album because a new song did not replace it. I found myself leading her, on, my arm, over towards the small, cozy seating area settled in a nook at one end of the room. She sat in one arm chair.

“Coffee?” I asked her, gesturing towards the coffee machine on the shelf.

She nodded. “Please.”

I brewed two mugs, handed her one, and sat in my own easy chair, alongside hers. We sipped our coffee for a few minutes, resting.

“You’re a good dancer. I had no idea,” she said.

“Hmm,” I agreed hesitantly. “I used to dance. It was my mother’s doing. I guess we’re what you’d call the ‘well-to-do’ type.”

She just nodded and sipped her coffee. “I see,” she finally said.

I glanced over at her, traced her profile with my eyes three times over before she looked at me for a split second, and said, “You look nice in that suit.”

My eyes had darted quickly away, realizing I had been staring. “Thank you,” I managed not to stutter as I could inevitably feel my face turning red.

At the time, the cardinal-sized falcon had flown and landed on the arm of her chair, facing the opposite direction. It emitted one chirp.

We both looked at each other. She raised one eyebrow and the corner of her mouth twitched a smile. We both nodded in acknowledgement and flipped over the back of our chairs, each landing a kick in the face of a black-masked figure, knocking them out.

We assailed two more and I managed to punch the fifth in the gut, doubling him over before I knocked him out too. We dragged the five bodies over to the elevator and chucked them in, sending them to the ground floor for Security to deal with.

Once the elevator doors shut, we both stood there staring at them. A few moments passed by.

“Fucking ninjas,” she said, then grabbed me by the collar, pulling me into a violent kiss.





Written late at night when I couldn't sleep. Enjoy! <3
~Yoyo
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Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:58 pm
Griffinkeeper says...



*Rated R*
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Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:43 pm
Revere says...



What a fun piece - I really enjoyed it lol. It was sort of violent at the end, but it fit in well with the tone of the rest of the story.

I didn't find any major grammar or spelling problems (which is good!). I liked all the lyrical descriptions of everything, it really added to the romantic aspect. The tension was really well expressed in the dialogue. I could feel the chemistry between these two!

You mentioned you wrote this late at night - but if you wanted to expand it further I would suggest an introduction of the problem before the ninja beatings start;). We weren't aware why the characters were there to begin with, or how they learned to beat up ninjas, or why the ninjas were there. If you really wanted to extend this story, you could also add character names and backstories. Maybe this could be a scene from a novel? You decide, but I do think this has good potential.

For what it is, this was very entertaining, and I would only suggest you use my suggestions if you wanted to make it longer.
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Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:55 pm
TNCowgirl says...



IT was really fun, i enjoyed it and thought it was amazing.
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Mon Sep 03, 2007 12:12 am
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yoha_ahoy says...



Thank you! Glad it was well recieved. :smt045
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Wed Feb 20, 2008 4:49 am
Fall_Into_The_Sky says...



f in ninjaas lol love the last part
The only wrong love is only one never felt.
Live to day as if your would die tomorrow.
Love like you know no other, dream as if they'd come true, hope because you can reach the stars.
  








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