Well hey there, TTF2!! lol Like I said, I've read this before and I never reviewd. Woops! lol I loved it left and right. FANTASTIC!
*applauds*
I take my hat off to you...even though I have no hat. lol
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Turn its into it's.TellATaleFor2 wrote:Its official, no one has it worse than me.
Okay, I vote you take out the ellipses after God (...) and leave the comma. On a very teenybopper note (I loved N*Sync when they were popular, I was 7 so sue me!) Is that really how you spell J.C.'s last name? I kept thinking it was spelled differently.TellATaleFor2 wrote:Dear God…, Cross saw me in boxers singing “Some Girls” by J.C. Chasez in the middle of Wal-Mart.
*Laughs*TellATaleFor2 wrote:First of all, Cross Taylor knows my name. Hold on a minute while I bask in my euphoria.
-Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala-
Ok, I’m done.
Funny part here, though I don't think rapid needs to be capitalized.TellATaleFor2 wrote:Can you believe I was rambling on like that? It was like Rapid fire! I was literally talking a mile a minute. And Craig! Craig died when I was NINE! Why on God’s green earth would I call Cross Taylor, Craig?!?
Someone please shoot me!
I do hope by gaming department you mean videogames, if that's the case I have a new favorite heroineTellATaleFor2 wrote:So Cross works in the sports department and I work in the gaming department
I couldn't stop laughing at this part.TellATaleFor2 wrote:Nate looked at me, “Cross was right you are pretty cool.” My mouth literally dropped open. Had I heard correctly? Had Nate just said that Cross Taylor had called me cool? Cross Taylor talks about me? Cross Taylor talks about me with his friends? Nate Wright and Cross Taylor talk about me together? Nate Wright and Cross Taylor think I’m cool? I need to get outta here before I have a spaz attack in front of Nate. That would so ruin my new “cool” status.
You need a period after are.TellATaleFor2 wrote:“Wow. Cross never mentioned how funny you are”
Put the period inside the quotations.TellATaleFor2 wrote: “You know Autumn, you’re really funny”.
“rapid” wouldn’t have a capital letter I don’t think!It was like Rapid fire!
try “Cross was right (full stop) You are pretty cool”. It would sound better and easier to read.“Cross was right you are pretty cool.”
Find out how to spell barely!whom you barley know.
I disagree. If you slowed down, it might become boring ruin the charm of Blake. And to tell you the truth, I am constantly on a sugar high!1. Autumn appears to be on a permanent sugar high. No offense, but the narration moves very fast and at times it is hard to follow. Also, it feels very rushed and there is not enough narration to make the action stick together...if you know what I mean -_-While I understand that this craziness is part of Autumn's charm, I would advise slowing it down a couple of notches to allow the reader time to get familiar with Autumn and her world.
Gender:
Points: 690
Reviews: 1