You probably shouldn't use the word "so" twice. I would write it as "Look at you, so pure, your skin unmarked." I don't know... it sounds more poetic to me.
Nice stuff, by the way.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
