"I feel terrible, like there's a weight on my chest." 'A heart's a heavy burden'.
Author's note on this year's napo enspoilered for length:
Spoiler! :
I think I started out as a love poet, a lot of my poetry from my younger years circa 2015~2017 were centered around difficult relationships I was having. The intense emotions I felt was a driving force behind a lot of poetry and why I kept on writing and writing and writing. Obviously at 25, I'm a very different person to 18 year old me, and over the years I feel like I've felt almost a very core part of my motivation behind why I write poetry.
Misery loves company and it's certainly one my poetry likes, I don't think I've ever gotten to a stable enough emotional state where I feel comfortable stepping outside of something that's been the core driving force behind one of my main creative outlets. But lately, over the past year and a bit I've gotten to a safe enough emotional state where I can write a different kind of poetry, maybe a softer kind of poetry.
content warning: 18+ language, vague mentions of sexual assault
day 1
Spoiler! :
i think in another world, we believed in god together every sunday, we sit in church and our voices would adjorn with the echoes of hymals, ringing in a sun seized catherdral your bible is my bible, your hand my hand your sins, my sins - like that time i masturbated in your mother's house and left stains on her bedsheets Galatians 5:19-21 was the verse on the table. - or the time you touched me in a theater room, and i wondered if god had a limit on the kind of sins he could forgive-or the times we said we loved you, and is a lie a lie if neither of us knew it was a lie? - in another world, our sins merge and we condemn oursevles to salvation but here we sing our separate hymns of a love in a godless cathedral
Previously Flite
'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche
there are ghosts in your closet i never thought i'd see again, and these are versions of myself i thought i had buried six feet deep 7 winters ago. the cereal on the table, calls to me like the sea the night we met and the moon is an orchestra of gravity keeping me tide to you, i tie your tie each morning and wonder where along this road, we became eclipses instead of lighthouses
Previously Flite
'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche
god died in this household the summer of '07, when you left. mother was a faithless woman, and that winter the sun razed our lawn to the ground as if in protest of her irrevocable sin against you (us). and Father, i've found a church in the citadel of your absence, i scrape my knees raw on the pews of our floorboards, i map everyboy i have everkissed to the staccato echo of your hands chopping down wood for sunday lunch (and i'm sure, freud would be thrilled in his grave six feet under).
Father, i worship everybody i meet with a broken heart, thinking if i atoned their sins then maybe you (would stay too) but i think all i have left to show my efforts with are the smooth rosary beads i roll every night in bed thinking about how the first time i had sex with a boy, i thought about how mother rented her body out, for a sin so good it was enough to kill us all that blazing summer of '07.
Spoiler! :
writing has been extremely difficult of late, and i'm not really sure how i feel about any of the poems so far. this poem is quite out of my usual stuff, but i wanted to run with the opening line and here we are.
Previously Flite
'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche
hello apricity! i've been loving your poetry this napo! (especially backtracking!) would it be okay if i use 1 or 2 of your lines from your napo thread to make a poem? (about how parrots repeat their favorite words)
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~l o v e r~
herb/tea/hour! He/She
projects: 5 acts (poetry) treading through abyss (novel)
Hey there! I've been reading your poetry and I must say you have amazing talent. Day 14,15 & 16 are my favourites <3 You've been doing a great job and hey, don't worry about missing a few days, NaPo's supposed to be fun, right? I love the fact that your backtracking, superb ^^ All the best with the rest of NaPo!
there is a porcelain sky in the rearview mirror of your car, all mournful and delicate like the face your mother had, when your dad passed that grey morning. it was 5 am, and a soft stillness had settled over the room -the casket,was the morning dawn breaking the air. an unwelcomed crimson streak.
you said you never knew your dad, but here we are, 5 strangers in a room, each dressed in black, mourning our silences, sending thoughtless prayers to an unforgiving god for a stranger none of us knew.
Previously Flite
'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche
I love the fact that your backtracking, superb ^^ All the best with the rest of NaPo!
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