spring leaves us speechless and comatose. you shudder. i have always been obsessed with the movements of you; i sigh when you twist and convulse, vertebrae rolling under my couch.
i can’t feel my jaw, can’t feel the tip of my nose or my spine. i bleed inward. i pray for my skull to give way at the soft parts, implode at the seams.
we would've been forever, i say, you and i would've been forever.
scars resurface like bodies in the dirt after it storms. your ribcage is a shelter, a home that no longer welcomes me. you can’t get a word in otherwise.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
the taste of something foreign lingers on my lips. i can feel it on my fingertips like thimbles and glue, heavy and obstructive, weighed down by water and the scent of her shirt. i breathe it in. it tastes vile.
i remember sitting next to her on the basement floor. i take it all in, buzzing and whirring, limbs numb and useless. i'd let her touch me if it meant she loved me. i can see right through it.
i will carry this on my back until it breaks my collarbones.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
i trickle where she needs me and ooze where she doesn't want me, blistering, swaying and tripping —
her aura resists against me like magnets, softening my skin like butter and pleading with me to keep quiet. she'd never admit that she's scared, but she cries when the wind is too strong.
her shell walks beside me. i cry when i'm scared. abrasive, only in theory. retribution. i leave parts of me everywhere.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
Can't express how much I just love the line "i leave parts of me everywhere"!! Such a good line and all your poems have been so poignant and beautiful!
man in boy's clothes on you like a lotus flower; this shirt is yours and it doesn't fit right, unyielding, full of seams that grapple and nick at your skin.
i can’t picture you anymore. i can only feel your touch on the small of my back.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I haven't read a lot of your poems but I love these ones! It's been a hot minute since I've read love poems so these are so interesting to read. Your style of poetry is very distinct and I really like reading your poems. Keep going!
The problem with quotes found on the internet is that they are often not true.
poised to take this punch in the gut, i stand like a statue, weathered and wasting before you. what is left will remain hard until i am nothing.
i am ashamed at the stability of your flesh. your unsure steps mean nothing when your tongue is all steel and my core is all worthless, and i feel everything.
the blood rushes to your head. your eyes stay cold and distant as always.
your lips are softened strips of flesh like mine, lacerations in the callus. the contrast is hard to ignore. i remain before you like i'm made of sand; your eyes wash over me and i crumble.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
when i was four, my mother still held the tissue to my nose while i blew.
i remember being impressed that she could put her own hair up. i traded her kisses for hello kitty stickers and orange juice, let her wipe my scrapes when i got hurt.
she taught me to be soft, so i will be soft until i am brittle. i can hold barrettes and big-girl cups now, among other things.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
chi i have been following this thread since day one. its gorgeous.
we would've been forever, i say, you and i would've been forever.
these lines especially have me in a chokehold. theres something horrifyingly real about that whole first poem, but that stanza. those lines are something.
abrasive, only in theory. retribution. i leave parts of me everywhere.
our unsure steps mean nothing when your tongue is all steel and my core is all worthless, and i feel everything.
she taught me to be soft, so i will be soft until i am brittle.
also, these lines had me thinking for a while & i am in love with them. your style is meticulous here. your voice is so gritty & anatomical, but somehow i am not put off by it. i genuinely cant wait to see what else you write.
all of the footprints you've ever left & the fear expecting ahead
with my back against bark, i oscillate in anticipation of seeing her.
when our eyes meet, unsaid words self-utter too late. each little tiny instance i imagine is suddenly replaced by flashbacks, crunch of cartilage against the pavement.
spring turns me into an evil man; the girl walking beside me's name is reflection. she has my same hands, ribcage, everything that makes me cruel and vile --
it's as persistent as a hangnail and as urgent as a broken nose.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
"i trickle where she needs me / and ooze where she doesn't want me" <-- the verb choice here is so vivid and perfect
Uncomfortable anatomical/physiological imagery is having a moment in these poems and I really love it. All of the descriptions you use of bones, cartilage, tissue, convulsion, appendages, etc. are so memorable and intense. 10/10 NaPo so far.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.
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