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3am thoughts



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Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:16 pm
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mckaylaam says...



Day 23 - celestial truths

Old souls in young bodies do not fear death;
they know that someday the sun will swallow up the earth
and that time has never been our friend,
no, and it never will be,
for this is the way that the world has always worked
and how it always will.

But still,
old souls in young bodies do not want to die;
they want to keep dancing in the sun’s rays
and learn how to talk to the stars at three a.m.
when they feel like the whole world is silent,
for this is the way that the universe as always worked
and how it always will.
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Sat Apr 25, 2020 1:04 am
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mckaylaam says...



Day 24 - a letter to my mom

I want to be free.

I want to be free from the hate you taught me
to have towards my own body,
the bad habits I’ve picked up over the years,
and learn how to accept all that I am,
full of ambition and weird little idiosyncrasies.

I want to learn how to swim.

I want to learn how to navigate deep waters without guidance,
when I’m surrounded by the unrestrained and uncontrollable darkness
and all I have is myself to rely on,
no matter how grim my odds might appear;
I want to be the ugly duckling that turned into a beautiful swan.

I want to be loved.

I want to be able to love myself in all the right ways,
to have the confidence and willpower everyone seeks to find
but must be built up on your own from the inside,
and to have somebody love all the things that make me imperfect;
I need love from others to come with respect.
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Sun Apr 26, 2020 2:43 am
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mckaylaam says...



Day 25 - creative stagnation

Half-written metaphors and less than profound quotes
haunt my battered notebook, full of sticky notes,
that’s become a home to the writer with a choked-up throat.

It never gets any easier to come up with something new,
no matter if I’m abruptly struck by inspiration when I’m feeling blue
or if somebody tells me to write about how much I like honeydew.

Ideas come and go like the ocean tide ebbs and flows,
words come to life as soon as my pen begins to compose,
chosen titles hopefully making some sense of my messy prose.


Spoiler! :
If you couldn't already tell, this is a poem about how it's getting harder and harder for me to finish out NaPo this month - but I'm going to keep pushing myself, seeing as there's only about 5 days left and I've already made it so much further than I thought I would go.
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Gender: Female
Points: 3188
Reviews: 26
Mon Apr 27, 2020 2:33 am
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mckaylaam says...



Day 26 - bad weather

You were never big on symbolism or the like,
so when hail broke your window
that first night you kissed me,
you only wrote it off as bad weather;
my good days with you
were spent in the eye of the storm.
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Points: 3188
Reviews: 26
Mon Apr 27, 2020 10:14 pm
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mckaylaam says...



Day 27 - silent spring

Empty school playgrounds and deserted parking lots stand still,
reminders of a life we may have once taken for granted.
The sun shines bright and warm today
but no one is outside,
except for the mailman and the nurse
who don their baby blue face masks,
ghostly symbols of our new lives.

No, this won’t last forever,
and someday we’ll go out again with our friends
to enjoy all the things our beautiful cities have to offer
and to catch up in person rather than electronically,
but for now we must stay inside,
stay safe,
stay alive.
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Reviews: 26
Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:50 pm
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mckaylaam says...



Day 28 - empty mugs

She was like the coffee you drank every morning at 6am,
something you needed just so you could feel something.
She could be strong and bitter on those cold mornings,
her tongue sharp and her eyes piercing.
On the days the sun began to rise earlier,
she was as sweet as vanilla,
making you forget about all your worries
and remember the times she cuddled you by the fireplace.

God, how you miss those lips,
the way she’d kiss you goodnight
and whisper hello to you in the morning.
Polaroid memories of adventures taken
linger all around your bedroom in disarray.
You miss her coffee-stained sweatpants
and those fairy lights she strung around your apartment
that made her only look at much more angelic.
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:54 pm
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Magebird says...



Spoiler! :
Apparently I was more behind than I thought I was in commenting on your poems, so I'm here to remedy that! I really love the recent week or so of poetry. "a letter to my mom" is definitely my favorite - I love how you started with a basic phrase and built on it.
[ mage ]

she/her
they/them
  





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Thu Apr 30, 2020 2:13 am
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mckaylaam says...



Day 29 - eleventh hour

My hand begins to cramp as I rush to finish,
rush to write all the right words that get my message across.

Time is quickly slipping away,
and like the granules of sand confined in an hourglass,
I cannot do anything about it.


Spoiler! :
@Magebird I totally understand getting behind! School's been getting in my way a lot lately, so I haven't been able to comment as much as I'd like to. But thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it! "a letter to my mom" was one I wasn't too sure about but I'm glad you liked it :)
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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26 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3188
Reviews: 26
Fri May 01, 2020 1:37 am
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mckaylaam says...



Day 30 - adulthood

I last walked on stage a whole two years ago,
taking my last steps as a high schooler
and my first steps into adulthood.
But adulthood is anything but a walk in the park,
and is certainly not as easy as facing a crowd
of people gathered to celebrate your accomplishments.

I sit here at the wooden desk my dad crafted for me,
my own makeshift classroom anything but sturdy,
amidst thoughts of bachelor’s degrees and 20th birthdays
and remembering I need to throw out this day-old tea.
Adulthood is anything but a piece of cake,
and certainly not as easy as crossing that brightly-lit stage.


Spoiler! :
My first time participating in #NaPo has finally come to an end - I'm proud of myself for making it through this month and writing something every day, even if it felt like I didn't have the time or motivation (or both) to do it. Thank you to my NaPo buddies @Magebird and @Katteex for encouraging me throughout the month and leaving your lovely comments. And thank you to everyone else who has commented on this thread, I really appreciate it all and I look forward to doing this again next year!
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  








The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
— Stanislaw Jerszy Lec