These are three really nice entries sound! The rhythm of parting song flows well, enjoying you is a short, sweet little snippet, and I really like the repetition in silent dream!
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
dimly lit curtains at the end of the room draped at the back of a two-foot stage (or so i assume) i couldn't see past the six-person-thick wall crowded around the three person band in this tiny venue
wish i knew the songs
something in the air smelled like weed if i knew what weed smelled like (i don't think i do) drunk people getting really intimate and whispering into each others ears i don't make eye contact
i'm glad i found a corner
my friends seem like they're having fun with their heads bobbing to the music (all the songs sound the same)
but it's okay
for a few short hours of my short life i get to experience something new (new to me, but not to you) and now i know, it's not my thing but i do like to be out with people (people like you)
and that's okay
i might do it again for you
Last edited by soundofmind on Wed Mar 22, 2023 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
This next series of poems are all hard-hitting, from give me your hand and a penny, I think the short lines help to hammer in the "helpless/lonely" tone, while the rest of the poems have really good narration and the formats are lovely. Really good pieces here sound!
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind. — Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
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