Young Writers Society

7.
Rough Waters

Don't rock the boat
Don't make a wave
Follow the crowd

But you rocked my world
Waves drowned me
The crowd forgot me

I try to follow all your expectations
As they shine like rays of sun
I hold my eyes to their glare
I have gone blind for the love of you

8.
Funeral songs

Sad eyes look down
Tears alight on sunken cheeks

Who stands there?
what stories do they tell?
can they say they loved me?
can they say I lived?

is the yard filled with faces
or is it just you
did you even want to come
or did you feel like you should

are the tears true
or masks for their hate

Am I gone?
lost all consciousness
or can I still see you smile at the memories
teardrops like ripples on memories I built, memories you never felt

Are you gone?
were you ever here
or did I create you from my pain
or did your pain create my love

are we simply mirage?


A teardrop waters the dirt
they all walk away
will I stay in your mind? still somehow alive
a memory, a teardrop, a waterfall
am I truly;
dead.

9.
Broken, fixed, missing pieces

looking over life's tear soaked pages
I can't help but smile

I see the wrinkled pages
all the pain tucked in each crease
each ink mark blurring each letter into intelligible messes

But I see the beauty
I see the hard work put into each word
each second
each memory
each tear, an ocean
even the pain is beautiful now

I see who I have become
in each story, each sorrow, each joy
that has molded me like clay from the earth

I am not perfect
I am not healed

Like pottery thrown in anger
shattering on the linoleum floor
I have been broken into pieces

I have glued myself back together with tears
I have glued myself together with memories
I have glued myself together with your hate, for it made me who I am

I am missing pieces
I am a missing piece

but as my pen marks more pages
fresh ink burning bright

I still look back
and smile

10.
Broken Dreams

The best dreams are not the ones that come true
But the ones you can't remember

Because every night is more of a nightmare
So much it has blurred the lines of night and day

And even the nightmares are sweet rest
From the wishes they refuse to hear

Wishes that leave me broken
Dreams that leave me empty

11.
Clock hands hold me

I wish that time would stop ticking
I wish that i could lie down forever
but I would hate to leave you standing

But i need some time to build myself again
I am somehow running on empty
I can't get off the highway
if i slow down the cars sing songs of disappointment

I thought life could be better if only you could change it
but maybe i had to change myself before you could love me

I wanted to lie down
but i would hate to lie down
before i took my first steps

as a child you cheered me on when i crawled
Now i am on my hands and knees and you just look away

If i could carry you
and finally fall
would you look down at me
or just walk on

The clock is still ticking
Flowers still bloom
Snow still melts
the sun still shines

funny how well the world can move on
without you

12.
This poem was a collab I did. But it was poeting and I didn't have much time today so it will do
Death by sunsets and stars

Life without you feels like I am dying.

Death would be far sweeter, but then would I be another disappointment?

Who am I to ask this question?

Have I not already drowned you in the ocean of my shortcomings?

And isn't your judgment really the air I breathe?

Breathing feels much harder then drowning

(and apparently drowning only hurts until you stop fighting

and you were my reason to stop fighting.)

Maybe I wasn't drowning, but flying too close to the sun

blinded by your love so much I couldn't tell it was never really there

I thought that your beating heart was necessary for my lungs to breath,

but really, the absence of you is what gave me the power

to land among the stars, finding peace in darkness.

In the dark when i cannot see my flaws is when i feel the safest

like how you could never admit you were less then perfect

maybe we really are the same, maybe I inflicted my own pain

and so i say again, life without you feels like i am dying,

but maybe death is all i need to learn to love myself.

are you ready to live?

13.
Awaiting deaths embrace, six feet deep

Hands shaking
Tears falling
Heart racing
Lungs laboring
A feeling I cannot shake
A fear I cannot name
Sounds asult my ears like explosions
Movements my mind creates
The terror within me
Does not reflect the silent night
It only reflects my broken soul

14.
I am dead
Am I alive because of blood coursing through my veins
Or because my heart is beating
Am I still alive because of some shred of consciousness
Am I alive because of emotion
Am I tethered to earth through my soul
For I no longer feel alive
I walk
And talk
And kill myself for you
But I have been dead
Before you ever noticed
Though blood courses through my veins
What does it mean if I am emotionless
What is it worth if a bleed out from scars you can't see
Scars you drew on my skin like a story
The story of my life
The story of my pain
Scars that never heal
I am teathered to the earth by shackles of my hate
They cut into my skin
And I curse them
But they were never really locked
I have the key to unlock them
But something about your cold embrace
Kept me here
It kept my heart beating
But
I
Am
Dead

15.
Broken Machinery

Gears turn the same as always
But they create no solution
Just a loop
Going nowhere
Getting lost in the motion
Were we lost in translation?
Or did I get caught in the turning cogs of my brain
A dismal descent into the madness of self
But I have lost who I am
In the chaos
I have lost who I want to be in mention
I have lost who I was in translation
I have forgotten myself in space
words no longer express who I am
but who I will never be
my heart no longer beats for my life
it beats because it has to
to be called whole
to fool you for a few seconds
that I am still moving
to fool you into thinking
my smile was real

16.
The torn and tattered pages of a girl

I look at the woven tapestry of time
I see a girl who was broken
I see a girl who hadn't decided who she was
before she had to become who she didn't want to be
I see a girl who was kept from a world
and i see a girl who knew the ways of the world too soon
I saw a girl growing up
a girl changing
becoming someone knew
someone who wasn't defined by expectations
but someone who was defined by the unhealed scars
formed by tears never wiped away
formed by laughter
formed by hate
formed by love
formed from memories
formed from the dirt of the earth
these pages tell an unfinished story
will you finish it with me?

17.
What ifs, questions never asked, questions never answered

What is the worst that could happen?
The eternal question?
Sometimes the reason I get out of bed
More often the reason I hide under duvet covers
Because the worst that could happen may be more important then the best
Because I would have no fear if you took my hands and said I'm yours
But if you turned away in disgust
Then maybe I ruined it
Then I wouldn't see your smile on the hardest day
I wouldn't hear your jokes
I wouldn't be inspired by you
I wouldn't laugh with you
I wouldn't talk with you
I couldn't look into your eyes and see their beauty
So if the choice is between yes or no
I would rather never know

18.
Masquerade

At a masquerade ball
we dance
we turn
we hide our faces from the world
a few hours of being free
a few hours of being blind
the band plays music
we get lost in the notes
we get lost in ourselves
lost in the love of ourselves
blinded by our self hatred
we dance we spin
we fall in the arms of those we don't really know
the outlines of your face like an artist sketching lines, faint but real
the lines erased by paint, it's more beautiful that way
but i think it destroyed the real you
i would be happy to build it again like a mosaic
if you don't mind the pieces of me i gave up to make you whole
they mar your image, create inconsistency, they mess with your perfect nature
we dance my dress of feathers hiding who i am
my mask of stick and stone hides my emotions
we dance, but i am not your fairytale princess
i am merely your stepping stone
adoring every minute of your disregard for me
but for now we dance
even through the masks, pretending we aren't broken, forgetting we aren't perfect
we dance
and that is
enough

19.
monsters in my mind
When you turn off the lights
I scream from the monsters
Not the ones under my bed
But the ones infecting my head
They creep in
The grab hold
They don't let go

20.
the nonexistent definitions of me
I am a shell of who I was
Eyes seeing but not remembering
The light of my iris is faded
feeling drained from my bones
no love
no hate
i don't wish my heart to stop beating
but the world to stop turning'
parts of me were left behind
when i left you behind
now i am left with missing pieces
nothing will perfectly fit into the recesses of my heart
nothing like my naiveite, like a tourniquet, like a blindfold
nothing
if i were to be whole again i would be someone i wouldn't want to be
but i am not proud of who i am now
i guess i will never be perfect
i guess you will always be perfect