Young Writers Society

Chapter 1.

When parents say something on your first day of High School, it's usually something like "Good luck" or " You'll do great, sweetie".
Well, my parents said the complete opposite.
" No point going, you'll get your self in even more trouble".
" If you ask me, you are too bad to even get in".
Mom and dad wished they'd never had me. Their always telling me this.
" But mom, one mistake in Junior School, doesn't mean it's going to ruin the whole of my High School years!".
My mother's glare corrected me, and I sighed annoyingly.
My parents were the opposite to normal parents.
They didn't give me hugs, or a kiss good night.
They hurt my feelings nearly the whole time I'm there, or hit my round the face when I do the slightest thing wrong.
Just because I got excluded twice, and hit Hannah three times every year, doesn't mean I'll make the same mistake!
I have decided to create a new me.
Most people would have got a face change, or commit suicide, but, I'm not like that.
If I applied some make-up, and corrected my hair, I'd look a little pretty, but it's the fact that people think I'm tough. They rely on me to do something funny, or hit someone, or answer back.
But I'm not going back to that.
So, I've decided to give it my all...

Hello, my name is Em.
My friends call me The Red Pen Nazi because I am ruthless/brutally honest with my opinions/reviews.

Alright, you have a ton of grammatical errors. Okay not really a ton, but a lot. I'm going to try and edit them all right...NOW!

When parents say something on your first day of High School, it's usually something like "Good luck" or " You'll do great, sweetie".
Well, my parents said the complete opposite.
" No point ingoing; you'll get yourself in even more trouble".
" If you ask me, you are too bad Explain here this 'bad'. What did she do? First Chapters are the place to tell some background. Not too much, just a hint. I feel like this is too small of a hint. to even get in".
Mom and dad wish they'd never had me. They're always telling me this.
" But mom, one mistake in Junior School, doesn't mean it's going to ruin the whole of my High School years!".Awkward wording. Maybe "..doesn't mean my years in High School will be ruined."?
My mother's glare corrected me, and I sighed in annoyance (like this sentence, btw...).
My parents were You keep using past tense to describe the parents and I corrected it once but maybe you're trying to say they're dead now? Even if they are, present is usually better or else it becomes distracting/possibly ruins the plot/point of your story. the opposite to normal parents.
They didn't give me hugs, or a kiss good night.
They hurt my feelings nearly the whole time I'm there, or hit my round the face when I do the slightest thing wrong.
Just because I got excluded twice, and hit Hannah three times every year, doesn't mean I'll make the same mistake! This was a bit mucky for me. I don't understand what you're trying to say and I could use a few more details.
I have decided to create a new me.
Most people would have got a face change, or commit suicide, but, I'm not like that.
If I applied some make-up, and corrected my hair, I'd look a little pretty, but it's the fact that people think I'm tough. They rely on me to do something funny, or hit someone, or answer back.
But I'm not going back to that.
So, I've decided to give it my all...

I like how you end the chapter hopeful, but I want to know more of her thought process. You jump around a little too much and it makes it difficult for readers to follow your story. It's like you're doing this:

"I'm riding a school bus" to "I like Twinkies."
INSTEAD OF:

"I'm riding a school bus." to "School buses are yellow and shaped like Twinkies." then to "I like Twinkies."

I know how I got from Thought A to Thought C but not everyone else does.

I also like the idea of your character being emotionally abused but be carefully to still make it seem real. Victims of Emotionally Abuse may not be so tough or they may be so tough they seem to lack emotion. Just...tread lightly. She won't be emotionally stable and people might not take your story seriously if you make her too "fake" or if you make her entire story a "pity me" type of story where she just whines/rants about her problems for forever and doesn't do much else.
I hope all that made sense. I'm kind of tired and out of it right now. Ask me if you got lost/have a question.
K, bye.
~em.