Young Writers Society

Hello all! Well, here I am, gyrfalcon, willing to trade my amazing editorial services for just a scrap of cake. To be honest, I’m a picky editor, and I may not be right for everyone, so please read the following and decide if you’d like to place the sweat of your brow and child of your imagination in my tender claws.

Some things I’m good at:
Characters (this would probably be my greatest strength)
Word choice/avoiding awkward wording
Sentence and paragraph structure and content
Spotting redundancy and/or lack of information
Grammar
Killing clichés
Dialogue
Overall Flow (this encompasses everything from a sentence to a chapter to—if I really like your work—the whole story)
There are probably some other’s that I’m fairly okay at, but that’s what springs to mind.

Here are a couple examples of my typical critiques:

Scavenger by TL G-Wooster (this is my normal fiction style of critiquing—this one happens to be a fantasy story; I’m on both pages, by the way)
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post ... opic&f=188

Dear Mr. Publisher by Eimear (a rare example of my poetry-critiquing)
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post ... ht=#370968

Repercussions by JFW1415 (again, a typical fiction crit, but of realistic fiction rather than fantasy)
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post ... ht=#361351

Now, here’s what I like critiquing:
Fantasy
Sci/Fi
Historical Fiction
Action/Adventure
Other Fiction
Some poetry (but this is not my strong suit—I’m fairly good at “traditional” stuff that rhymes and doesn’t try to be all metaphysical, but if you give me something “modern,” I’ll probably just smile and nod)
Any rating, except please don't give me anything with graphic sex scenes.

What I don’t like:
Lyrics
Most poetry
Romance (that is, graphic sex scenes--I don't mind it sooo much otherwise)

Now, as for Advanced Critiques, I’d be more than happy to help you out with those, but only if:
1) It’s in a reasonably decent state already—I’d rather not read first draft please
2) I like it. I mean really, personally, truly enjoy your story.

This last one, to a certain extent, applies to all my critiques. I don’t have to be a fan of yours to give you an honest and (hopefully) helpful crit, but if you want me to do more than one thing of yours, I’m going to have to be enjoying myself.

My price: nothing. As I said, I want to enjoy what I read (and edit) and that’s price enough. If you did feel compelled, out of sheer gratitude, to critique something of mine in return, that would be great, but is in no way compulsory. Please don’t give me points.


Well, bring it on!

I got a three-part story called Tangled Up In Blue.

1: post382487.html
2: topic31268.html
3: topic31373.html

You don't have to review all of the instalments if you don't want to. I know it feels like a chore when you post one of these Critiquing threads, and some guy gives you a really long story to do. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it, and it won't feel that... long, I guess. It's in the Romantic Fiction section, and I know you said you don't like critiquing those, but I promise it's not one of those fluffy boy meets girl pieces. It's more Other Fiction. Please, please, please, please, please critique it. Again, you don't have to read the three of them. You don't even have to read the first one if you don't want to.

Puhleaase want to?

Icaruss, the reason I don't like Romance is not because of fluff--it's because of the sex and such. Even so, as you're my "first customer," I did take a look, but only up to a certain point. If you have anything else, I'd gladly help you out. You are a talented author and (again, up to that certain point ) I really was enjoying your story.

Hola!

I have no idea what it is. Fantasy-ish, because of the vampire bit at the end. I know, I know, one thing is "killing cliches," and I'm fully aware that there are 5 billion thousand stories out there concerning vampires. But I was feeling uncreative, and I didn't know how to end it!

It's an entry for JFW's contest, and she extended the deadline, meaning I have more time to spruce it up and WIN! *laughs maniacally* And, erm, if you could so a line-by-line, I have cookies =) If you don't enjoy it, then I understand. I wouldn't want to critique a story that's horrible. Actually, I would, because I would get to destroy it.

ANYWAY, please?

Link!

topic31662.html

Thanks a bunch!

Hey gyrfalcon, I would be extremely grateful if you could review Eyes of the Empire for me. Please be as brutal as you want with it, I really want it to be good

Thanks,
-Onceuponatim3xo

Yay, customers! Sock, I started on your story, but once I saw all the awesome critiques you'd already gotten, I was wondering if you still needed my services? Just let me know! OnceUponATime, I've got your story copy/pasted into Microsoft Word so I can start asap.

Thanks everyone!

'cmon, people, bring it on!

Hey! I am working on a seven part series called the Séance series. I am focusing mainly on the characters, and trying to make them all believable and unique. Each one of the stories are in a different point of view. I have the first two posted, and if you would like, as I add them, you could read them also. But whatever.

The Séance

The Ouija Board

Thanks.

-Jared

Sorry, BBB--I'm really not comfortable with that kind of story (ghosts and spirits and seances and such).

But seriously, it seems to be dead in here! I'm not that picky, am I?

O.o I posted that a while ago. No problem. I have enough critiques on that. Do you do scripts? I have a script that doesn't have any critiques.

-Jared

Hmmm, never tried before, but I could take a shot! Gimme the link?

Tsk, tsk, gyr-bird!

And this, after neglecting my own Shadow of the Sun. *cries*

I take it that the story failed to hold your attention, which is fine xD. You don't have to anyway - I put it in the Advanced Critiques forum anyway, so hopefully it will receive more attention there.

**

On another note, there is also a long short story I wrote called 'Magda' - Cal made me cut it up into five short segments for her competition - but I think it'd be awesome if you could look at that!

topic33439.html

That's the first bit -

**

p.s when's the next Gypsie Eyes chapter coming?

topic34293.html

Dude. That link took me FOREVER to find. It was in one of my folders, and I went looking through it and it wasn't there. I'm like, "!!??!!??!" Yeah. And then I found it.

So. No biggie.

-Jared

Hello. This is a supernatural story. I have two chapters posted. However, it's more the second chapter I need reviews on rather than the first, so if you could just skim through the first so you know what's going on and then review the second? Not required of course, but if you have the time the second chapter really does need some brutal critiques.

First Chapter: topic33373.html

Second Chapter: topic31712.html

*head/desk* Here I go and ask for customers, and when I get some I totally ditz for a few days--sorry guys! Shall be tackling each of your requests in order posted (BBB, still need a link), and will hopefully get them done before the week's out! Please feel free to bug me if I don't.