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Young Writers Society


The Biscuit Tin



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365 Reviews


Gender: None specified
Points: 22
Reviews: 365
Tue Oct 01, 2019 1:09 am
Fishr says...



Hi Biscuit! Could you please review my second half in the green room? I could really use a second pair of eyes with character development and how the story flows in terms of making sense.

British Love, Boston Affection (part II) (Rated R)

Thank you!
The sadness drains through me rather than skating over my skin. It travels through every cell to reach the ground. I filter it yet strangely enough, I keep what was pure and it is the dirt that leaves.
  








As the notifications drift in I stop and wonder. Why do they take so long? Do they have adventures we don't know about? I bet they do. When they come I will ask myself. What amazing adventure has this straggling notification been on? How far did it travel, and why didn't it take me?
— TypoWithoutCoffee