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Young Writers Society


The Biscuit Tin



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365 Reviews


Gender: None specified
Points: 22
Reviews: 365
Tue Oct 01, 2019 1:09 am
Fishr says...



Hi Biscuit! Could you please review my second half in the green room? I could really use a second pair of eyes with character development and how the story flows in terms of making sense.

British Love, Boston Affection (part II) (Rated R)

Thank you!
The sadness drains through me rather than skating over my skin. It travels through every cell to reach the ground. I filter it yet strangely enough, I keep what was pure and it is the dirt that leaves.
  








In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien