Young Writers Society

A poem on new year's resolutions


A new year, a new start
A chance to reinvent one’s self
A slate wiped clean, time to start anew
But with it, comes empty promises
With good intentions, that you’ll follow through
But you well know, as in years past,
Hope for this, is not so bright
The past failure’s still lingering back
This time will be different,
You’re integrity’s grown, or so you thought
A month goes by
Not even two or three
You’re back again,
Wondering what happened to your promises
You sit in reflection...
Resolve.
That’s what comes to mind.

Hey Hamingway,

This poem is -- okay. It's neither great nor terrible, in all honesty. I like the concept of the poem, but in truth I thought it was a bit disorganised. It doesn't really have a very strong sense of rythm, which is my main issue with it. All the lengths of the lines are different to an almost random extent and it's not split into stanzas. Still, I found that I could feel a certain sense of rythm when I read this, but it wasn't very strong.

Now for the actual wording you use and the images you conjure up in the poem.

I think that this could be improved a lot with some editing -- I found that not everything quite makes sense here. Still, I can see what you're trying to aim for.

But with it, comes empty promises

I think this should be: But with it come empty promises.

With good intentions, that you’ll follow through

This doesn't really make any sense. You just said that the resolutions were "empty promises" but now you're telling the reader that the person your directing this at will follow them through. I think you're contradicting yourself slightly -- try and work on making this part a bit clearer.

The past failure’s still lingering back

Again, this line just doesn't quite make sense. How about changing it to something along the lines of: "Past failures still lingering here" -- or something like that.

You’re integrity’s grown, or so you thought

Your integrity's grown, or so you thought.

You sit in reflection...
Resolve.
That’s what comes to mind.

Again, I found that the ending just didn't quite make sense to me. First you're talking about how the new year's resolutions weren't followed through, how they turned out to be empty promises -- and now you say that "resolve" is what comes to mind. Perhaps "lack of resolve" would be a better way to explain it?

Again, I think I like some of the concepts that just begin to emerge in this piece -- but I really think you need to work on deciding what you're actually trying to say here. Try editing out the contradictions and small errors, and maybe rewriting some parts of it so that it has a stronger sense of rhythm and structure. You might find that you like what you've written.

Keep writing,

~MorningMist~

Hi.

Hmm... I liked the idea of your poem, about new years resolutions. I did like the story of how you didn't stick to them. But your poem was a little bit bland. It's not something that will stay in my mind and be remembered. If you use more poetic language and more detailed descriptions it could help.

Deanie x