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Young Writers Society


A Little Girl



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11 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 575
Reviews: 11
Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:43 am
vkshravi88 says...



A little girl walks away
From a world she grew up in
While her father is upstairs, up there
Being caressed somewhere in heaven

He left her unintentionally
Not meaning to leave so soon
He left without witnessing
His small little girl blossom

Even worse, she has no one
Her mother is away
Taken away for her alcohol
They told the girl “She’ll be okay”

She lives with her uncle now
Gabe, in the chair
For all he does day and night
Sits and cries in despair

Her age was too tender to comprehend
The changes of the world around her
Adolescence splattered her like paint on stone
And she begin to understand, with fear

Her time of sorrow seemed everlasting
She could now claim with regret
That no one existed that was there for her
This statement, I cannot forget

She wrote, just two weeks later
A letter to her father upstairs
She was glad that he could see
And experience her growth up there

Of course I miss you
She stated in the letter
But I am strong now
And will be forever

She smiled that day
When you’d never expect it
And realized with glee
That her life, she was glad with

A couple days later
She got a statement from her mother
I’m coming home honey
And we will live together

The daughter sang happily
With her tears streaming down her cheeks
Her mother was sober
And she had felt her angels sing

Her teen years had embraced her
By the time her mother came back
They live together now
And love does not lack

Her father looked down
And smiled his heavenly smile
We’ll be together one day, he thought
I’m proud of you, my child
The complex journey of life begins with a simple step forward
Vikash
  





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37 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 973
Reviews: 37
Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:31 am
Anshita says...



I really like this. It flows very nicely and I love the simplicity.
I could definitely feel the emotion, you did a very good job there.
It's a great piece.

Keep writing
~Anshita :)
If love is rude to you, be rude to love.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 906
Reviews: 3
Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:08 am
Boogie97 says...



this made me cry. the second stanza made me think of him so much:( Well your a good writer and you got a reader to cry. Not a bad sign:)
  





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1634 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 67548
Reviews: 1634
Sat Dec 17, 2011 6:17 pm
Deanie says...



Hi!

First off, a big welcome to YWS!

I really loved this poem. It was really sad and sweet but it wasn't too exaggerated. I think my favourite bit was the last stanza when the father is talking the child. However you need to put in full stops and commas for better punctuation, but to be honest I'm no good with punctuation myself XD.

But the story was super and I enjoyed reading this a lot.

Deanie x
Trust in God and all else follows.

Deanie, dominating the world since it was cool @Pompadour, 2014
Your username reminds me of a hotdog @Stegosaurus, 2015
Tried to make puns out of your username, but every attempt has been Deanied @Candywizard, 2015
  





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37 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 3404
Reviews: 37
Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:33 am
ShootingStars says...



Oh gosh... I cried! :wink: Nothing more needs to be said.

Awesomeness!
---Shooting Stars
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. -Jiminy Cricket

Don't be afraid to jump, to leap, to fly too far and don't be scared to touch the stars!
  








We do have funerals for the living. They're called birthday parties.
— Jill Biden (fictitiously), Hope Never Dies