Young Writers Society

This pretty light, dancing in front of my eyes,
The coming of vertical time, since this darkness left.
Life can be fun, sit in the park
Watch the heat strip the paint from the walls.

How about we write a letter to no one in particular?
Write until our pens run out, then leave it for someone to find?
This letter will carry our names, till the end of time.

How about we run to the other side of town?
There might be green grass there; we’ve been there over a thousand times,
But I think it’s worth the walk.

Plain white T shirts, we don’t stand out
True we have scars, but white is bland enough,
We can pass the same faces one hundred times
And they won’t ask us why we’re laughing so hard.
Cause inside we are flying free,
Flying free across the sky.
Never thinking this’ll end,
Never wondering when we’ll die.




Please show me where to buy some sand
I want to go back in time.
A fresh perspective never hurt,
I’d like to buy some sand.

I wash the dirty past away,
With good intentions and games to play.
The smile drops behind the blinds,
Emotional strain holding on tight.

How about you take my tears?
Their filling up my house
I can barely move or breathe,
Their taking up my space.

The Sanitarium is crumbling will no one mend the cracks?
These people need a hand to hold
Not for their home to collapse.

I poured the sand into the bath
I sank into the depths.
In one breath I woke up new,
In one breath I woke up dead,
In one hour I got up and left.
The dead man walking under lamp light
The dead man walks till the end.

Hi, Zombie! Rose here!

I have to say, these are some very cool poems. I do sense similiarities between them, like you said, although they're not incredibly obvious; I guess the similiarities are mostly brought about by the feelings of the two poems. The other thing I'd like to congratulate you on is your title. I'm not sure how it's relevant to the poems, but it's very cool and quirky in itself, and I love it.

This pretty light dancing in front of my eyes,
the coming of vertical time since this darkness left.
Life can be fun. Sit in the park and
watch the heat strip the paint from the walls.

I feel like punctuating the poem in this way makes it feel better. However, I know that a lot of poets have personal preferences when it comes to the punctuation and capitalization of the poems; perhaps you're one of them. Still, I love this just the way that it is, even without any changes.

How about we write a letter to no one in particular?
Write until our pens run out, then leave it for someone to find?
This letter will carry our names, till the end of time.

I think about doing this all the time. I think it'd be fun to wonder who found the letter and what they thought when they read it.

All in all, this piece is amazing! Always keep writing, Zombie! I look forward to seeing what you come up with next.

-Rose

Hi There!

I really liked these two poems. They were really different to most things I read.

I really like the title I think I see how it relates to the poems in a way, but in a way it also doesn't. But as Creativity already said, it's an awesome title.

To me the first poem felt like it was about freedom. The second poem seemed more about not liking the past and not having that much freedom because your tied to old ways? Thats how it came out to me, and that shows how they relate.

I really liked reading these and I think you did an awesome job.

Deanie x