Young Writers Society

This was written in honor of a somewhat friend...Just another incident when you've believed that that one person you could tell everything to was honest...then BAM! You find out the opposite! this was just my frustration about the whole thing...Please feel free to give your opinion...I will considerate very much!


Masquerade
Silver tongue
A nose with a little
Brown smudge
Enough
To cover it up, right?
Wrong.

Ignorant audience
Perfect bait
Lights
Camera
Action
Arrive in center stage.

Words roll off your tongue
As smooth as a baby's skin
Almost believable
Until someone hears the glitch.

Your words don't match up to script
So you improvise it
Continuing with your bull shit
Playing it off as important
In the end it turns into amusement.

You really expect me to believe this?
This which is attached
To absolutely NO common sense?
Do you really see me
As so low and dumb
To fall for your "persuasive speech"??

Sorry, honey,
But you're poker face
Is wearing off.
So leave the table,
Or have the stuff.
But no more bluffs!
You're not good at it,
And I'm not the only
That sees that!

For future references
I suggest a different hobby
Other than lying.
You hurt others so easily
Because they can see everything!
And you look like the fool,
For your babbling
Trying to be convincing
Dude,
When will you get the hint
That its not working?!

Hi there Impossible.

Looooool. Harsh, girl. Good job. I'm sure this loser will find somenthing better to do, or he'll try to get better at lying. I've read like three poems about 'lies' and 'liars' today, it's kind of creepy. xD Anyway, this is nice. You managed to make it flow nicely and it was nice to read. Though, you should make sure to make your poem look uniform; I noticed you didn't punctuate all of your stanzas. Make sure to make your pieces look professional, it'll get you far. Oh, and you forgot the apostrophe in the last line... in 'it's'. But you sure did an great job.

That's pretty much all I've got to say. Keep writing!

~Solly<3

Thank you!:) I appreciate the review!!

This flows really well, and the imagery is interesting XD. The only thing I could suggest is that you try to make the first two stanzas flow better with the others. The best way to do this would be to extend the lines, or combine them and add a couple. Because otherwise it just doesn't work very well together. It already works great if you take them apart (though it doesn't make as much since), but when you read them together the rhythm just gets cut off and changes mid poem. It's like trying to sing a song in two different tones. The Beatles learned very quickly that that didn't work XD. Other than that, very very good .

Thank you! Hmm...I never thought of it like that..but thank you! lol. I can see how it doesn't really flow well...I will have to fix that... thanks though! I appreciate it much!