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Young Writers Society


The Lunatic's Song



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25 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1465
Reviews: 25
Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:03 am
Stargirl101 says...



On a glittering silver river
Illuminates the whole world, and your blue eyes
Slice open the starry sky
I make a wish and close my eyes
Yes please, I whisper, now it comes true.

At the speed of stars
Inside a cracking heart explodes, an air plane crashes
The earth hums lazily
You make a wish and close your eyes
Yes do that, your haunting
We forgot the wishes we made, but they came true
Oh please don't open your eyes


My lover and friend, whatever happens to us
I will swallow a tear and breathe in the scent of your hair
In the ruckus, we cried in each other's arms
But when we meet
When we kiss
Our burned lips, our hands that we hold
I see you have woken
You are bare to me
The lunatic inside me shouts
Again you wade through the storm, together we run faster
Everything becomes so small
I try to scream louder
It's more difficult, you going away

My beautiful friend, whatever happens
In a ruckus, we will cry in each other's arms
I'll swallow a tear and breathe the scent of your hair
But when we meet
When we kiss
Our burned lips, the hands that we hold
I see you have woken
You see me bare
The lunatic inside me sings
Presence is a curious thing. If you need to prove you’ve got it, probably never had it in the first place. It’s not an ostentatious, adolescent display. It should be something effortless. Somebody once said: ‘The whisper is louder than the shout.’ Well amen to that.
  





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52 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 818
Reviews: 52
Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:48 am
PollarBear14 says...



L-O-V-E I-T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  





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15 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 905
Reviews: 15
Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:38 am
stevensmith05 says...



Heyyyy i am Steven and i really enjoyed your piece. I really think you achieved what you set out to do and can take great pleasure from what you have achieved. The imagery is simply fabulous, i wish i had the same ability to create such a strong image i nthe readers head. I cannot wait to read some more of your work as this was jsut fabuous. No real problems or errors, jsut a devine piece of writing.

Keep Writing

Ste
  





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31 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 897
Reviews: 31
Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:50 am
ZombieSquirrel says...



I definately agreed with Steven, I read through it about five times, each time something different popped out to me, it was fascinating, and made me want to write like crazy, it was like: War, Love, and Grief all jumbled chaotically together and yet they work so well together. It was very entertaining and emotional, great job. You could really go places with talent like that.
  





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5 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1330
Reviews: 5
Fri Nov 18, 2011 4:09 am
holyiao says...



WOW! I'm stunned. That,my friend,is a REAL modern literary piece. I like the imagery, the theme. . .or let me say, the whole piece.
  








Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
— Captain Jack Sparrow