Young Writers Society

If God is there,

Why are we always in despair?

If God it here,

Why are we always living in fear?

If God is watching,

Why are we always searching?

If God is helpful,

Why are we always resentful?

If God loves is meek,

Why are we always a weak?

If God cares

Why are we always scared?

If God is my father

Why are we always injured?

If God knows best,

Why are we always a mess?

If God controls life

Why are we always in strife

If God takes away fear,

Why are we always angrier?

If God trust us,

Why are we always looking for lust?

If God is there,

Why are we always fighting for him to care?

Hi. I'm sorry but i don't really like this poem. I get the idea but it is not executed very well at all. Firt of all you need to be consistent with your rhyming- do it or don't not half and half. Also you were trying to relate things that are not related at all which was not good. For example, If God trusts us it does not counter our lust. They are irrelevant. Sorry. Maybe just try to rework it a bit.

I'm sorry, I think the idea is good, but the rhyming scheme is at times a bit average, and it seems as if you were trying to rhyme some things that shouldn't have been rhymed. Maybe just have another look over it and fix up the stringy bits. It's a good idea though, stick with it and good luck !

Hi there Zwinky!

I'm Solly, I'm here to review for you. You've done a great job, actually. This poem flows greatly and it rhymes and each line makes sense. I wouldn't change anything of it. But there's a typo in the second question.

Okay, I bet there's an answer for all of these questions, but I don't have them. But think about it for a minute, when life is perfect we turn into rebels and get spoiled. And how are we supposed to notice the beauty of little things if life is perfect? At least, I take things for granted when things are going great.

God bless<333

~Solly<3

Hi Zwinky,

There's nothing more thought-provoking than demystifying the powers of God. All very logical and practical questions you've asked. And what of their answers? God knows.
I like this poem because it talks about such a delicate subject in a simple and straight-to-the-point manner. It's normal for people to have doubts about their faith on God. And why not, when there are so many uncertainties in this world?

A few nitpicks about the poem would be that you've tried hard to make it rhyme and it definitely shows. The poem goes off-track on occasion. So I recommend that you thoroughly re-read this piece when you've done that, do it again. Find those places that bring down the poem and correct/alter it so that your poem can be better than it already is.

Nice work with this, and keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza

I like this poem and the subject matter. I think it is written well, save for the rhyming scheme. You need to decide if and where you will rhyme, maybe by editing that, you could improve the quality. I'd love to see a cleaned up version of this