Young Writers Society

This is my first poem:


Reading is my life,

My everyday activity

Every morning, day, and night

I keep a book somewhere near

A new world waiting to be discovered

By me--
the reader



Earth fades away,

I'm no long me,

I'm swept off my feet

By description and imagery



My brain's in a new body

My personality altered

My hearts beats loudly

As I turn each page



The book reveals its magic

It's characterisitics revealed,

Once I've found the right key

To find its inner core

It willingly lets me

Go deeper and explore



when the book reaches it's finish,

and shuts off the lights

my brain returns to me,

and leaves me with a smile

and gently nudges me

out the door of fiction.

Please set aside my feelings, and lash at me with full force. I know this is probably really elementary, and that I'm a really bad poet. Thank you so much!

Hai there Audrey!!
Hope you are doing fine =) Woot! First to review!!! XD
So I want to start off with saying that I absolutely loved this piece! And you really have talent as a poet! =)
I love the idea behind this and how you worked it out. There's a great imagery in this poem and a good rhyme/ rhythm so congratulations on that!
I haven't read a poem like this before and I loved that this was the first one XD You should keep writing poems!
Okay so here are the nitpicks!

Earth fades away,

I'm no longer me,

I'm swept off my feet

By description and imagery

My hearts beats loudly

"hearts" should be "heart"

It's characterisitics revealed,

"It's" should be "Its"

when the book reaches it's finish,

"it's" should be "its"

And in the last part you forgot to capitalize the first letters. And you forgot the punctuation in some parts so you should go back and look at that =) But other than that, LOVED IT!! XD

Hope this review helped =)
Keep writing!
-qaralynn-

Thanks for the review! I'll get to those grammar errors!
~Audrey718~

Hello there,
WOW! First things first .. if this was your first poem then WOW! ... My first poem was pants compared to this ... ;3

I can really relate to this poem as I am a very very avid reader and library go-er and reading is my favorite past time !!!

Lorna
xxx