Young Writers Society

I don't want them anymore.

They never get any easier,
those horrid things.
They just make you numb,
make you understand how to manage,
to get by,
but you're never...
I'm not...
I can't be...
okay.

I wish I could destroy them,
to journey like a book-character
and cast them into the fire,
watch them burn,
watch them seethe,
watch them leave.
Get out.
I detest you with everything.

I just want to know
that I'll never have to say
those icy words again,
never have to look into disappointed eyes,
to launch into a rushed embrace,
and allow those words,
those cruel, heartless, detestable letters
to slip through my lips.

I want to say goodbye to goodbyes.

General opinion was a great poem with some minor issues.

First: Love the title and the opening line.

Goodbye to Goodbyes
I don't want them anymore.

Second: Slight difficulty in reading the first stanza, so: i shortened the fourth line and broke the line after "understand" and brought the next line up to the same line as "make you understand."

They never get any easier,
those horrid things.
They just make you numb,
make you understand
how to manage, to get by,
but you're never...

I'm not...
I can't be...
okay.

The rest was great for the first stanza. love the ending three lines.

as it transitions to a great second stanza, with great cues as to the nature of the topic.

I wish I could destroy them,
to journey like a book-character
and cast them into the fire,
watch them burn,
watch them seethe,
watch them leave.
Get out.

I detest you with everything

.

Great imagery in the stanza, felt the emotions and frustrations depicted. Nice third stanza as well.

I just want to know
that I'll never have to say
those icy words again,
never have to look into disappointed eyes,
to launch into a rushed embrace,
and allow those words,
those cruel, heartless, detestable letters
to slip through my lips.

I want to say goodbye to goodbyes.

Love this line it just flows so effortlessly in sync with everything. Great overall poem.

I actually really like this piece. I think it was all the relatable feelings that made it so good.

These are my suggestions:

They never get any easier,
those horrid things.
They just make you numb,
make you understand how to manage,
to get by,
but you're never -
I'm not -
I can't be
okay.

A great beginning. One of my favorite lines is "They just make you numb,
make you understand how to manage". It has such a great bittersweet emotion that I connected with as a reader.

I wish I could destroy them,
to journey like a book-character
and cast them into the fire,
watch them burn,
watch them seethe,
watch them leave.
Get out.
I detest you with everything.

This stanza wasn't as strong. I think "to journey like a book-character" is unnecessary and takes away from it. As well,"I detest you with everything" I have a problem with the "with everything". Either take it out or elaborate, like 'I detest you to my very core' or something less corny than that. The last thing, I suggest reordering your 'watch thems' and put the watch them leave first because seethe and burn are so dramatic and then you read leave and its disappointing.

My other favorite line in this was

never have to look into disappointed eyes

I thought that was a great way to say it than 'I never want to disappoint them'. I connected with that line.

So, those were my suggestions and comments. I really liked this piece. Never stop writing!

Helloo there creativityrules!!
I'm here to tell you that I like your poem! The others already took care of criticism and made suggestions so I'm not going to go there XD
There was a lot of emotion in this poem and I totally loved it. I hate goodbyes too =.=
Great job!
This part totally made it for me =)

I just want to know
that I'll never have to say
those icy words again,
never have to look into disappointed eyes,
to launch into a rushed embrace,
and allow those words,
those cruel, heartless, detestable letters
to slip through my lips.

Keep writing awesome stuff like this! *likes*
-qaralynn-

HEY!
This is a good poem- I like the concept! 'Goodbye to Goodbyes'... certainly a thought-provoking title. One thing I would like to advice you on is to not use several adjectives to describe ( "... cruel, heartless, detestable...")- just choose the one that captures exactly what you want ( in this case, I would say 'heartless'). It's simple, but just one, defining word can have so much power! Other than that you composed a good poem which I enjoyed reading, so thankyou!
-Blossom