Just a little thing I wrote a while back. Only thing I'll ask is please don't say anything about the capitals; that's how this was written, and it's really the only thing I'm going to be super reluctant about changing.
i'm crumbling at the edges falling inwards collapsing - london bridge is falling down and no one's there to save it
I love the last two lines, taking an old happy-tuned song and putting a really sad twist on to it. I think if you had made it any longer, it would have lost all of its meaning. The last two lines do it for me. Nice to read, interesting, glad you wrote it. -Anna
"For whether a place is a hell or a heaven rests in yourself, and those who go with courage and an open mind may find themselves in Paradise." - Eva Ibbotson (Journey to the River Sea)
Liked this quite a lot, for what it is. It's short and simple and it has a kind of echo-effect on my mind, allowing me to over-analyse the message you're trying to say.
To me, you're talking about the fall of society and the lack of any righteous force available to take action. Which, really, is a fascinating thought in the times we live in.
A great piece, keep up the good work.
The most wondrous sight I've ever seen is the sight of the sun in the sky.We are some of the lucky few who are allowed to exist; does that not make it all worth it?
Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus. — Enid Bagnold
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