What made me (I am)

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Points: 1262
Reviews: 13

Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:41 pm

Shinrai says...

Spoiler! :

I am because of my experiences
I listen because I was ignored
I help because I've been helpless
I laugh because I couldent let myself cry
I hug because I've known lonelyness
I smile because its harder to explain a frown
I love because those feelings have been frequently denyed
I am there for those who need a shoulder because I had none
I never leave because I have been left behind
I conceal our conversations because others had been told mine
I am because people made me this way

I am because of my values
I am trustworthy because I trust few
I am faithful because I have been betrayed
I am confident because I was destroyed
I am reliable because I have known those who are not
I am because I strive to be this way

I am because of my God
I pray because the Lord brings me strength
I worship because He never leaves me
I spread His word because without it I was helpless
I change because of His desires
I live because He created me
I lift my hands because of His glory
I sing because He gave me a voice
I realize because He molded me through my experiences
I thank because He has made me better through my aspirations
I am because He made me this way

Last edited by Shinrai on Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:58 am, edited 2 times in total.

Shinrai (Japanese) means reliance, faith, trust, and confidence which are things that I hold value in and I strive to be reliable, faithful to God and the people I'm around, trustworthy, and confident so if you were wondering what my name means I hope this explains everything

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Points: 3175
Reviews: 141

Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:53 pm

Daisuki says...

As I said, this was incredibly amazing. It's beyond words how much emotion you stuffed into this, how much it really connects. I'm... shocked. It made me both excessively happy and horribly sad at the same time.

I am because of my experiences
I listen because I was ignored
I help because I've been helpless
I laugh because I couldent couldn't let myself cry
I hug because I've known lonelyness lonliness
I smile because its harder to explain a frown <- I really, really understood this part. I know what that's like.
I love because those feelings have been frequently denyed
I am there for those who need a shoulder because I had none
I never leave because I have been left behind
I conceal our conversations because others had been told mine That's a really bad feeling, I know. To have someone tell something they shouldn't. I've had that... a lot.
I am because people made me this way

I am because of my values
I am trustworthy because I trust few
I am faithful because I have been betrayed
I am confident because I was destroyed
I am reliable because I have known those who are not
I am because I strive to be this way

I am because of my God
I pray because the Lord brings me strength
I worship because He never leaves me
I spread His word because without it I was helpless
I change because of His desires
I live because He created me
I lift my hands because of His glory
I sing because He gave me a voice (I especially love this line)
I realize because He molded me through my experiences
I thank because He has made me better through my aspirations
I am because He made me this way

I thought about what I wanted to say for this all through dinner. I came up with various things, but in the end they all sounded fake and empty. Despite being a writer, I don't know how to put how I feel about this into words. I've done this - what you're talking about. I've taken my pain and tried to become a better person because of it. But me... I do it on a much smaller scale.

I'm just... so glad I know you. I feel like you've shown me the glory of God - that He can make people like you. I'm sure I'm not the only person you've shared these feelings with, but I'm honored to be one of them, even if it doesn't mean much to you.

I love you, so much. Daisuki!

Last edited by Daisuki on Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.

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Points: 1260
Reviews: 102

Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:58 pm

LiesOnLies says...

A bit too repeitive and not very impressive to me at all. Sorry, I'm one of those hard to please reviewers and I apologize if I come off being harsh. Frankly, I didn't understand why you had some sentences in "Red". That really wasn't necessary.

You did have a few mistakes..below are the mistakes that I found

I am because of my experiences
I listen because I was ignored
I help because I've been helpless
I laugh because I couldent let myself cry ------> should be "couldn't"I hug because I've known lonelyness---------> Not correctly spelled..should be"Loneliness"
I smile because its harder to explain a frown
I love because those feelings have been frequently denyed
I am there for those who need a shoulder because I had none
I never leave because I have been left behind
I conceal our conversations because others had been told mine
I am because people made me this way

I am because of my values
I am trustworthy because I trust few
I am faithful because I have been betrayed
I am confident because I was destroyed
I am reliable because I have known those who are not
I am because I strive to be this way

I am because of my God
I pray because the Lord brings me strength
I worship because he never leaves me
I spread his word because without it i was helpless --------> "I" nees to be capitalized
I change because of his desires
I live because he created me
I lift my hands because of his glory
I sing because he gave me a voice
I realize because he molded me through my experiences
I thank because he has made me better through my aspirations
I am because he made me this way

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Points: 1262
Reviews: 13

Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:05 pm

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Shinrai says...

Lies on lies ... it was made to be repetive ... i used the red just so i could show that the first and last lines were made to be diffrent

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Points: 6338
Reviews: 140

Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:42 am

XxMattxX says...

I like. But maybe I'm just partial because of the ending.
<3

-Jojo

Solvalery/GeeLyria Fans
Link

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Points: 890
Reviews: 13

Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:41 pm

HenPen says...

A couple of spelling errors, but apart from that, it's really good! I really like it, it's very interesting, I particuarly like this bit!

Shinrai wrote:I am because of my experiences
I listen because I was ignored
I help because I've been helpless
I laugh because I couldent let myself cry
I hug because I've known lonelyness
I smile because its harder to explain a frown
I love because those feelings have been frequently denyed
I am there for those who need a shoulder because I had none
I never leave because I have been left behind
I conceal our conversations because others had been told mine
I am because people made me this way

Gender:

Points: 903
Reviews: 33

Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:39 pm

Mickeystwin33 says...

I love this poem, because I understand everything about it. it's amazing how much emotion you stuffed into one poem. It almost made me cry. You are an incredible writer.

I may not be the brightest crayon in the box. I might not be the prettiest, shiniest or favorite. I might not be anything to anyone, but yet I'm still in the box.

There's nothing wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with the world you live in. - Chris Colfer

I love you all, and thank you for reading my posts

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Points: 4120
Reviews: 83

Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:02 am

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SkyeDreamer says...

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. I don't know how to review this without cheapening its value, honestly; this was so beyond wonderful. You just packed all the emotion you could've into this,yet it didn't sound dramatic. The language is simple, but in a really powerful way... Anyone could tell that this was on your heart; it was so genuine. I also love the way you portray God- really relatable and beautiful. You are just so honest, and it shows through when you write. NEVER stop writing.

~Please review me~
*Want a review? Just ask!*

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Points: 953
Reviews: 4

Fri Nov 11, 2011 5:21 am

maha2509 says...

I really appreciate this poem because it beings about the essence of a himan being and how one actually should be Vs how people really have turned out ot be in this world.I really imagine the world as and idealist ,where people will co-operate and not compete and slaughter and build palaces over others dead bodies,I dream we will have clean air to breathe and each one is happy doing his/her work,I dream that we are all humane ,talk to one another with equal respect and not judge people based on class,caste and ethnicity ,I dream and dream ,but alas what we see finally around is has become a sad reality

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