Young Writers Society

Dost thou knowst
What you mean to me?
O keeper of my sanity
You showed me the beauty of sadness
You acepted my ragged heart
You were patient with my unexperienced mind.

O beautiful tear, full and frail,
Return to the one who loves you.
I am waiting. I will wait all eternity for you.
Only you.

Kiss me again

Like you did when we were younger
I'd kiss you back if I knew how.

I cry with you

I cry for you

My heart screams come back
Please return. I'll be waiting. You know I will.

the poem is really gr8!!!!!!!!! at your age,writing poems with such emotions is really a sign of a good poetess.......carry on with your writing...............i'm looking forward to some more works of yours........

Hi,

I would first like to say that I really enjoyed this. I don't think that the first line fits in, let alone flow, with the rest of the poem. Possibly, you should reword it. I think maybe you should make line 9 two different lines. You need to capitalize 'Like' in line 12. With lines 14 & 15, you should put some punctuation. Personally, I think you should the last line three seperate lines. I think that's really all I have to comment on. I really liked the format and flow. It had some depth, though not too much nor too little. You did very well. Good job.

Farewell,
A.

I really liked this. It held great emotion, and flowed well. Loved your wording. I'm not great at critiquing poetry, but I didn't see any errors.
So...well done, and keep up the good work!

Heey annie!
I will try to give you a good review but forgive me if this won't be helpful at all =)
Okay, so I want to start off with saying that I really like this. I love the idea behind it and you worked it out great. I like your choice of words. They make it sound so poetic and they really capture the emotions in this.
Just a little nitpicks:

You acepted my ragged heart

acepted should be accepted.

like you did when we were younger

like should be with a capitalized l.

My heart screams come back.

I think it would be easier to read if you change this into: My heart screams, 'Come back'.
But maybe that's just me =)

Other than that I really enjoyed reading this and I hope I helped a little
Great write!
-qaralynn-

Qara caught most of the nit picks, so I don't think I'm going to get into that. Overall its pretty good, and you got fairly good responses from previous reviewers. So I think you did pretty good. =]

I can't really tell, but I might have wiped a tear from my eye. This poem made sense, it was well worded, if a little 15th century Englandy (if that is a word), it was great in terms of content and word pairing and rhythm, I can't complain about anything, good job. Keep Writing!

This poem is really intense. I like it! The only thing that bothers me is the first line. It;s written in old english while the rest is more modern. I don't think it really fits. However that is nothing like grammar, it isn't set in store weather it's right or wrong. In other words, it's a matter of opinion so only change it if you want to. Over all great poem. Keep writing.

-Kels

I really enjoyed this!

One word: Amazing

Smashing poem. Keep it up. I lived it so much, i became a huge fan of this. I miss the rain, is great, well written and inspired obviously, otherwise it would not have need this comment.

Dost thou

knowst

know

What you mean to me?
O, keeper of my sanity
You showed me the beauty of sadness
You accepted my ragged heart
You were patient with my inexperienced mind.

O beautiful tears, full and frail,
Return to the one who loves you.
I am waiting. I will wait all eternity
For you and only you.


Kiss me again,

like you did when we were younger
I'd kiss you back, if I knew how.

I cry with you

I cry for you

My heart screams come back
Please return. I'll be waiting. You know I will.


Overall a like, love. Would love to see you revise it, and make it better.