Young Writers Society

This is a bit of a different type of poem that I wrote. LMK if you like it.

Forest Mornings
In the quiet, early hours of the day
Dark begins to turn to light
Animals everywhere come out to play
In the quiet, early hours of the day
Rabbits and deer scamper away
A flock of birds takes flight.
In the quiet, early hours of the day
Dark begins to turn to light

This is stupid. I can't even begin to give you a criticism because all you do is state the obvious in every single one of your poems (except the most recent one). If you could stop doing that and start telling us about how you feel about the statement, your poetry would be much better. of course, once you get to the point where you can tell us how you feel, you begin an entirely different process of writing. I think you have syntax somewhat under control, and most of your writing abilities seem fine, so go ahead, and bump up to the next level, will ya?

Yes, the whole 'animals come out to play' just gives it away. Up till that point, we think, 'OK, I get where she's going'. Then you just think maybe this should be read aloud on Reading Rainbow.