Young Writers Society

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s the fairest of them all

You with your dark hair and dusky eyes
Lips a sinners plum

Each word a delicate blossom
Spilling, sweet scented and velvety

As you bend your knees and clasp with your fingers
Crystal flakes of sunshine

The raindrops sparkle like your eyes

Sadness sweeps your forehead
Fingers cannot smooth it away

With sunsets come realisations
Icicles of gloom

Poking holes in the blanket of our serenity
As the cold creeps in

The thought sinks
A pebble in my head

Seemed kind of all over the place in terms of style. You start out making us think that this is going to be a rhyming couplets poem, and then it goes away. I couldn't tell if this was supposed to have some kind of meter and it didn't work, or if it was meant to be completely free verse and some of the lines ended up having a bit of a rhythm to them.