Young Writers Society

Temptations are knocking,
There outside my door,
God please protect me,
As you once did before,
Don’t let me surrender,
My life for a thrill,
Show me that fun,
Doesn’t come in a pill,
Don’t let me jump,
Because they say I can fly,
My life’s just begun,
I’m not ready to die.

It was nice and simple, easy to read, but it seemd a little short. And I can't say that I actually feel what's going on. To me, it could have been a little more involving for the reader, but I still liked it.

Thank you for you're post and honesty when i wrote this poem it was about my older sister and stuff she used to do

I liked this one are you serious!Your sister used to do that.I didn't know you had a sister!

Seriously? I like the poem, but I'm not going to crit b/c me and poetry just don't mix.

hey that is a very good poem
i think its very serious stuff
i like the rhyming, nice touch
anyway ,keep writing

Trinity wrote:My life for a thrill,
Show me that fun,
Doesn’t come in a pill,

i swear those exact lines are in a poem i read