Young Writers Society

This poem is meant to have a Latin theme/feel to it; the Bolera is a type of Latin dance.


The hills echo with
the melodies of the castanets,
and dawn’s hues of
vibrant crimson and bold azure
paint the world in pastels
as if it stood a canvas.

And they glide across the dance floor,
like a pair of
ruby-throated hummingbirds
soaring through the promenade,
her dress a vivacious copper,
his lithe arms holding her tight,
in steady rhythm with the beat.

Consumed by the harmony,
the universe closing in
around them, they
cannot stop,
cannot stop.

And when the bolero hushes
they freeze,
blood pulsing; limbs aching; heart leaping.

I cannot say that I am familiar with the Bolera, but this poem is quite absorbing. It describes the dance quite clearly and I can feel it.

However, there are some phrases I cannot comprehend fully due to their structuring. For example:

As if it stood a canvas.

Perhaps changing it to 'was a canvas' would make more sense?

Nevertheless, I cannot find any other mistakes (Probably due to my inexperience in poetry) but this is definitely well written. Good effort!

I can't say I like this so much. But I can't say I hate this. I do think it's pretty good. I have to say I liked your sentences in the second paragraph. It created an image for us to think about. Although, I didn't really think that the title suited it. Maybe you could think of another as 'Echo' didn't sound appelling to me, but that's just my opinion.
Overall, I think you should stick to writing these because they're really good and you have good potential.

This piece makes me feel immensely happy for some reason! Just the feeling that comes from it. The imagery used is vivid. A dance themed title would probably suit it better, but otherwise I love the happy and harmonious feeling exuding from this poem! HARMONIOUS! that may be a good title!