Young Writers Society

Didn't spend very long on this poem, please let me know what you think!

You can't make a rainbow,
Nor strive to reach the pot of gold -
It's story of colour can never be told.
Unless the skies completely split,
And the rain can steadily, heavily fall.
For without the storm there is no rainbow at all.

And doesn't that just fit?
With life and the world,
And all that comes with it?
Unless you suffer, and struggle and have pain.
Unless you have a little rain,
You cannot have the happy ending,
You cannot have a bright rainbow pending.

That's why it's called a rainbow.
First comes the relentless grey of rain,
Then the happy, colourful gain.

Lovely.
Well composed and written. Interesting too, it flows well and is over all very good! 10/10

Helloo there Angus!

This was a good write! It has a great rhyme in it and a nice message. And it's short and pretty straight to the point. I enjoyed reading this and wouldn't really change anything about it.
I have only one little nitpick:

It's story of colour can never be told.

"It's" should be "Its".

I'm sorry this review is so short, but that's all I have to say for now XD
Good work and keep writing!
-qaralynn-

D'aww....

Hi there again.

I was going to ask what was going on with the line qaralynn pointed out, it certainly distracted me. I didn't even get to figure out what it was. XD But anyway, I am a fan of rainbows<333 Lol, I love how you insert questions in between, because it makes the reader think, and how you managed to make it rhyme and give it an excellent end!

Great job!

~Solly<3

Great poem!

You can't make a rainbow,
Nor strive to reach the pot of gold -
It's story of colour can never be told.
Unless the skies completely split,
And the rain can steadily, heavily fall.
For without the storm there is no rainbow at all.

This stanza is great. I like the imagery and the strength with which you begin. Nice rhyming scheme too.

And doesn't that just fit?
With life and the world,
And all that comes with it?
Unless you suffer, and struggle and have pain.
Unless you have a little rain,
You cannot have the happy ending,
You cannot have a bright rainbow pending.

Your rhyming scheme is a bit off here. I like the stanza but I feel that you shouldn't have made the link between rainbows and life. You should have subtly given hints so that the reader could think about your ideas and link it for themselves. The way you've done it is good though and your words are very nice. In the line "You cannot have a bright rainbow pending" the flow is a bit off. Maybe try "You cannot have a rainbow pending." or "You cannot have bright rainbows pending." or "You can't have a bright rainbow pending."

That's why it's called a rainbow.
First comes the relentless grey of rain,
Then the happy, colourful gain.

I like this stanza and I understand what you were trying to say but I don't think you got your point across very well. You say "Thats why it's called a rainbow." but in the next lines you don't give a plausible reason. Rethink it a bit.

Overall this is a great poem and it has potential. As always you have delivered a well thought out piece of writing. Nice job and sorry if i was being a bit harsh. Keep writing.
Pollarbear out...