The End Of The Night

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Gender Male
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I just wanted a kiss
nothing but your kiss,
now I can't believe
how it came to this;
that I'd be so analytical
yet so hypocritical
to think lust is not primitive;
that it can't take us all.

You lie there, in wait,
alluring like fresh bait,
and hope the night'll go slowly
as you find your mate,
and I can't help but procrastinate
do you intoxicate or inebriate,
whether you sooth my senses,
or whether it's just the drink?

For I am just a man
I hold out while I can,
but I know that it's fruitless
as you take my hand.


---


First poem. Please don't be hating on me. Also, intentional rhyme disruption at the end of 2nd stanza, so don't call it a mistake. :)
Change is the law of life. And those who look only
to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
~John F. Kennedy




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Gender None specified
Points 987
Reviews 3
I loved this poem of yours. It's absolutely amazing, my eyes felt like melting (in a good way, of course). Your writing is beautiful. Keep up the good work!
Eh. I'm a chic, even though it says I am not...not exactly sure how to change it...herpaderp imma n00b. :P




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1354
Reviews 140
Wow, for the firt poem you wrote this is really good :) I wish I could give you advice but it seems as if you need none, good job!

Keep up the good work,

~Rain
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Theres always a rainbow after the Rain!!!!!!!




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Gender None specified
Points 4257
Reviews 78
I like it, i love it, i want some more of it!
I just wanted a kiss
nothing but your kiss,
now I can't believe
how it came to this;
that I'd be so analytical
yet so hypocritical
to think lust is not primitive;
that it can't take us all.

You lie there, in wait,
alluring like fresh bait,
and hope the night'll go slowly
as you find your mate;
I can't help but procrastinate
do you intoxicate or inebriate,
whether you sooth my senses,
or whether it's just the drink?
LOVE THE FLOW OF THIS SECTION

For I am just a man
I hold out while I can,
but I know that it's fruitless
as you take my hand.
Davantageous




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 12193
Reviews 275
I really liked this; as a girl it was nice to get a boy's perspective on things. Plus, you managed to cover a deep subject, yet keep your poetry mind on! But, because I don't have any complaints I'll keep this short.

- Calli



I only know that learning to believe in the power of my own words has been the most freeing experience of my life. It has brought me the most light. And isn't that what a poem is? A lantern glowing in the dark.
— Elizabeth Acevedo, The Poet X