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Young Writers Society


Distant Chains



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156 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 7297
Reviews: 156
Sun Oct 23, 2011 8:33 pm
KatTrain says...



I find creeping, crawling ways
to miss the spices of your skin
The aching recipe of your arms,
enfolds me in them once again.

The passion pains have long since healed
your hair reluctantly, swept away,
the gods you instilled in my head
hold crumbling ideals that shake and sway.

Today, the pull of a lesser god
has me down on reverent knees,
I've traded away your distant chains
for the pillars of security.
So, a dyslexic man walks into a bra....
  





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14 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 950
Reviews: 14
Sun Oct 23, 2011 8:49 pm
AnAmericanTeenager says...



Dear KatTrain,
Wow! This poem left me utterly speechless! It is o good!
KatTrain wrote:I find creeping, crawling ways
to miss the spices of your skin I absolutely love the way you put this!
The aching recipe of your arms,
enfolds me in them once again.

The passion pains have long since healed
your hair reluctantly, swept away,
the gods you instilled in my headi love the way this leads into the final stanza.
hold crumbling ideals that shake and sway.

Today, the pull of a lesser god
has me down on reverent knees,
I've traded away your distant chainsThis is an amazing way to end!!
for the pillars of security.

You are a great writer!!! :)
<3
One day life will come back and if you have been going through hell, it will give you a slice of heaven.
  





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23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 923
Reviews: 23
Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:57 pm
MSDavies says...



First of all I would like to say that you are a great writer! I like how you kept your poem short and simple, I really enjoyed it. And the way you snuck in a rhyme here and there just made it perfect. I have nothing negative to say about this. Thank you for posting this so that others may enjoy it. Keep on writing.(:


--Maya
“Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.”--Carlos Ruiz Zafon
  





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23 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 811
Reviews: 23
Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:50 pm
gokubrother says...



Whoa. I'm impressed. Though I don't fully understand what the poem means, (my own ignorance) I found that it was a very interesting read. Short and sweet. The only thing I understand is that it displays an unfulfilled, yet unnecessary longing. Interesting. I love how us humans can take words and imbue them with such power ^^
‎"If you can't build a fire in your house, you can't expect to set the world ablaze."
-Serj Tankian
  





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18 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 523
Reviews: 18
Sun Oct 23, 2011 11:03 pm
craz33me says...



I absolutely adore it, and I thought that it flowed nicely.
Well done!

Sincerely,
Ciara<3
"Love is a lot like playing the piano, at first you play by the rules, but eventually you begin to play by the heart."

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Skype me! Geek33pikachu
  








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