Young Writers Society

Why bother with hollow efforts?
I'm obviously no blossoming tree.
No carefree butterflies, nor joyous honeybees approach me.
I'm as barren as the starless sky above,
empty when it comes to fruit, more so when it comes to leaves.
I guess that's why, during harvest time,
they call me the fruitless tree.

Good poem, had great rhythm. Thank you for posting so that others may enjoy it as well! Keep on writing.


--Maya

Hey! So, I'm WriteWriter(WW) and I'll be reviewing you for today(: I love this poem and I could see the sadness of not being able to be harvested and not being able to put in any effort to make people hapy. It really got to me and made me start thinking about what I am and what I'm not good at which the only thing I'm really good at is writing so that's not much. The poem flowed effortlessly and I enjoyed reading a poem with no mistakes in grammar at all. So, great job and forever may you write(:

I really like this poem! *clicks like* I think it's the perfect length. I think the metaphor of the fruitless tree can mean so many things so it can connect with many people. These are my suggestions to make it even better:

Why bother with fruitless efforts? (I'm not sure if you should but fruitless twice and in the title, so maybe change this line to: Why bother with hollow efforts?[/color]
I'm obviously no blossoming tree.
No carefree butterflies, nor joyous honeybees approach me.
I'm as barren as the starless sky above, (I love this metaphor!)
empty when it comes to fruit, more so when it comes to leaves.
I guess that's why, during harvest time,
they call me the fruitless tree.

Love this poem. Thanks for sharing! Never stop writing.

This poem really reflects the on the mind and makes one ponder over the purpose of life. I like how you found the inspiration for writing this when you were not in the 'up' mood. We all feel that way sometimes and it's never a pleasant feeling to have. It's important to know that whether you feel it or not, there will always be people around you who cherish and value you. I enjoyed reading this poem a lot and I hope you are in a better mood now!
Keep the ink flowing!