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Young Writers Society


Shadows



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28 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 768
Reviews: 28
Fri Oct 21, 2011 9:51 am
Phoenix23 says...



Spoiler! :
This is a short poem, just something I came up with the other day.


In the deathly silence of the night,
Shadows creep out
From the closet of the darkest memories.

Drenched in sweat I lay,
Surrounded by the shadows
The cruel reminder of past life.

The shadows torture, suffocate me
Make me see the truth
I shall never be free.
If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!
- Shel Silverstein
  





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78 Reviews


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Points: 4257
Reviews: 78
Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:41 pm
davantageous says...



I love this poem. It is a unique reflection of the stillness in life. Keep it up.
In the deathly silence of the night,
Shadows creep out
From the closet of the darkest memories.

Drenched in sweat I lay,
Surrounded by the shadows
The cruel reminder of past life.

The shadows torture, suffocate me
Make me see the truth
I shall never be free.
Davantageous
  





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249 Reviews


Gender: Male
Points: 9525
Reviews: 249
Fri Oct 21, 2011 5:59 pm
murtuza says...



This poem has a really strong and true message to it and does give a brief account of life's unforgiving nature. The past is something we can never undo or hide under the mat. For me the first two stanzas gave a really good description about the persona's anguish.

Great work writing this and I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep the ink flowing! :)
Last edited by murtuza on Sat Oct 22, 2011 2:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.
  





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19 Reviews


Gender: None specified
Points: 1753
Reviews: 19
Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:05 pm
JustMeNathalie says...



I shall never be free.


Oh, wow. Love how this ends. Even though it's a depressing ending, I still like it. Great job. :)

Keep writing!

-JustMe
I don't obsess.

I think.

Intensely.

-----

Excuse me, I have work to do. Evil plots don't make themselves.
  








No, it's not that you didn't succeed. You accomplished a lot, but, if you want to touch people, don't concentrate so much on rhyme and metre. Think more about what you want to say instead of how you're saying it.
— LCDR Geordi La Forge