Young Writers Society

I feel like I'm tip-toeing
through the knives of your lives
While marching over the hot coals
of my own.
All your trials and tribulations
trickle down to me.
And it builds up,
stressing me down.
All I want to do is rise up,
and pour my own troubles
to someone else
so I can float free,
on my own.
Just for a while.


Not my best but whatever.

This peom was short, but powerful! Your flow seemed extremely well written! I completely loved it!! You said that this wasn't your best work, well then I want to read your best work, because from this poem I am very very intrested!

Firstly, I must agree entirely with the previous poster.
The quick lines gave this a song-like feel, to me; I was humming it at times while reading.
The imagery has a great back-and-forth feel to it, changing directions (trickle down, build up, stress down, etc.) almost quicker than it finishes the previous turn. Despite that, it held together well -- very tight.
The end lines+images are a nice full circle, the speaker hoping to become just for a bit free by emulating the person he/she is bitter about throughout the rest of it.

Nicely done, would love to see more.