Stalking My Stalker

Here's a poem about a stalker. I wrote it for fun and... it's supposed to be funny. xD Lol.

He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool.

He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going to bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers,
and that I'm always late.

He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave.
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating, watching T.V.

He keeps refreshing my profile's URL,
Hoping to see any update.
He knows what I think and when I feel loved,
I change my status to let him know.

Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that.

P.S. Don't worry guys, I don't have neighbor stalker... I think. e.o

Haha! I liked this. It made me laugh through the whole thing. This was entertaining and funny. Great job. Keep Writing!!

Hey, Sol. (If I was faster, this review was supposed to be the first lol xD)

Nitpicks:

Procrastinating watching T.V.

- I think that there should be a comma after 'Procrastinating'.

I change my status to let him know.

- It sounded here like the persona intentionally 'changed her status to specifically let him now'. Was that really what you meant?


What I found funny about this is the fact that she knows everything her stalker is doing and what he knows about her XD , making her pretty much a stalker of her stalker herself. XD Anyway, when I first saw the title, I was like 'o.o This seems serious'. But after I read this poem, it's sounds funny .

The first part of this poem seemed pretty boring. She only said things I, as a reader, would normally expect from stalkers. But the 'twist' in the end made up for it.

Another thing is, you stopped making rhymes after this seemingly forced rhyme:

He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late.

It seemed a little strange to notice that the poem stopped rhyming. You need to be careful with your rhymes.

Never stop writing!

P.S.
Feel honored! This is the first time I used font colour in my review! lol XD

Hi there, Sol!

I must say, I've having to nitpick to find anything wrong with this review. It was very amusing, and the twist was very well thought out.


What I particularly liked.Grammar error/Something I think should be removed.

[quote="Solvalery"]He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool.

He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late.

He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave.
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating watching T.V.

He keeps refreshing my profile's URL,
Hoping to see any update.
He knows what I think and when I feel loved,
I change my status to let him know.

Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that.[/quote]

Good job, very funny!

Hi,
I thought it was funny that the person who's being stalked is actually stalking the person who's stalking the first person. Sorry, I confused myself. But you know what I mean.... What I liked was that she (I'm assuming the person's a she) knows almost everything her stalker knows and even the things he doesn't know, so its actually she who's the stalker. I'll point out the insignificant stuff now,

He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going (to, you missed out the to) bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late.

I feel the poem would be so much better of it had more rhyming.Maybe it's just me, but there is a little rhyming here and there and those are the lines that I liked the most.

Solz! You've done it again. Written something hilarious, entertaining and undoubtedly brilliant! Loved every line of it. Made me wonder if my parents are actually stalkers now. Hehe. Great work again, Tolz.

hellooo my SOLLYPLUSHIEEE!!!!!!
I'm going to review this..well actually I'm just going to say that I like it!! XD
This made me crack up! =D
Favorite part:

Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that.

loool XD
..Let's hope he doesn't stalk you yeah

nice write!!
-qaralynn-

Awesome poem! Made me laugh.
It also made me wonder how the narrator actually felt about her stalker (I'm going to assume the narrator is female here). Was she just as infatuated with him? It seems like they have a bit of a messed up relationship. Stalkers are generally seen as bad news, but she isn't really doing anything to stop him from stalking her.

I change my status to let him know.

It's like she is updating just for him.

Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.

The way she calls him "dear" is like she holds some affection for him.

I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,

I'm not sure if she's just stating that she can see him all the time, or if she means it in a smitten kind of way. Like she could spend an entire day just watching him.

I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that.

But then she calls him a "creep", which probably means she doesn't like him very much. Then again, why isn't she stopping him from stalking her!?!

I like how her feelings aren't exactly clear, and how you kind of flipped the whole stalker and "stalkee" relationship on its head. The stalker is now the one being stalked. Lol. It made for an interesting read

This made my day! I loved it.

Cheers,
Luxe

He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool. ''Who's'' is a contraction of 'who is' so it sounds like a questionin your line
He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going to bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late. This ending throws me off because you didn't carry on the rhyme from the last stanza.

He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave. I like this line
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating (comma) watching T.V. The rhyme is magically back? are you doing ABACAD (or now that I think about it, it would be ABAB, wouldn't it? I feel dumb..) pattern with your stanzas?? I recommend you keep up the same rhyming scheme with every stanza.

He keeps refreshing my profile's URL,
Hoping to see any update. 'any update' sounds clumsy
He knows what I think and when I feel loved, You don't post everything you think, do you?
I change my status to let him know. 'stalker' is usually has a negative connotation, why are you encouraging him with your updates?

Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
But, I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that. ending with a rhyme would've really helped you out I think, it comes off lackluster to the reader without a quirk or rhyme.

I reallly loved your idea here, keep up the creativity! And keep writing!
-KatTrain

YO!

....I meant to review this earlier. XP

He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool.

I'd write it "..who's my mom/who my mom is", but that's just me and my repetition.

That, or take out the "who's" in front of "crush" to make it consistent.

He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going to bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late.

I feel you kinda lose rhythm and rhyme here, but it's still a good stanza.

He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave.
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating watching T.V.

The next-to-last line feels like it has too many syllables to me.
Also, you might wanna put a hyphen after "procrastinating."

He knows what I think and when I feel loved,

He can read minds?! O.o

Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that.

I love using slang, but the yep seems out of place here.
And I'm like, "Where'd the rhyme go???"

Overall, this was pretty good. Honestly, it wasn't one of my favorites, but it's humorous and fairly well-written. Good job.

This totally made my day! Really creative and fun, while it was well written too. It was amusing, and funny! I enjoyed reading it!

This was funny! I do wish you had rhymed more; it could have turned this from amusing to hilarious. As other reviews have pointed out, it needed a little editing. That said, this was really enjoyable. Good job!

First of all, it's pretty awkward that you have a stalker. Wait do you really? Great poem either way. Everything looked great, punctuation, grammar, etc. I could really step inside your shoes and feel what you were feeling, considering that you were so descriptive, there was no guess and check mystery about what you were feeling when you wrote this... Nice writing either way!

~Fortiii!

Great job solly! i love the twist