Hey! Good job. loved the title, and the general idea of the poem. About your flow: It seemed very choppy, the way you structured it. It felt a bit more like a story than a poem. Also, the amount of emotions and thoughts that you packed into it made it feel a little heavy, you know what I mean? But I don't really mind it. You had some great metaphors going on though, and the imagery was excellent. So yeah. Well done!
All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
