The Sea Contemplates the Moon

Hello. I'm new to this community. This is my first entry. Thanks for reading
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The Sea Contemplates the Moon

There is no space between
where your silver rim ends
and where the sky starts. It's almost as if
you're pulling the whole black mass of him
toward you. Up there
you are locked in an embrace,
his wispy clouds brushing against you
in a gentle caress.
Down here your reflection
is a lake of light
stroked by the ripples of my hopes.

-redrudderhouse

Hello! And welcome to YWS.
Alright, so this was nice. I loved the imagery and descriptions that you had in it. The poem was deep and full of emotion. It painted a nice picture. I could see each written line. Nicely done!
~Ballerina

redrudderhouse wrote:There is no space between
where your silver rim ends
and where the sky starts.
toward you.

Down here your reflection
is a lake of light
stroked by the ripples of my hopes.

Wow, this is very very deep. I very much like this. Don't forget to add capitals! "toward you" should be Toward you. And don't forget commas, in this world of poetry commas are your friend! I quoted my favorite parts of your poem. The ending is more than amazing! Wow, this is just really really good. Good job and welcome to YWS.

-Soggy

WELCOME!

Hi this was really good
hope to hear a lot more from you .

WELCOME!

redrudderhouse wrote:Hello. I'm new to this community. This is my first entry. Thanks for reading
------------------------------
The Sea Contemplates the Moon

There is no space between
where your silver rim ends
and where the sky starts. It's almost as if
you're pulling the whole black mass of him
toward you. Up there
you are locked in an embrace,
his wispy clouds brushing against you
in a gentle caress.
Down here your reflection
is a lake of light
stroked by the ripples of my hopes.

-redrudderhouse

This was beautiful. I love the title too. Every line was necessary and that's what i like. Every line was descriptive; there were no fillers here! By reading your writing, I can tell you have some experience writing poetry. You did a great job here. the images and diction were pretty.
My favorite part:Up there
you are locked in an embrace,
his wispy clouds brushing against you
in a gentle caress.
Your writing is very graceful.

Hello and welcome to this wonderful society of young writers! I am Warrior Princess, Writer of Fantabulous Poetry and Novels That She Never Manages to Finish. I am going to be your friend now and stalk your life. XD

This poem is very good! It is certainly my kind of poem, graceful and evocative and beautiful. The sea and the moon are quite possibly my two favorite subjects in poetry, and you've handled it quite well. I also like that the poem has a lot of meaning in so few lines, which is good, considering my poems are usually waaaaay too long. So nice job!

Thanks everyone

@SoggyPoptart: Thanks, but I think capitals and punctuation marks are a matter of preference in contemporary poetry. xD
@alohajuice: A great writer once told me, "Poetry is like good architecture. Take out one part and everything collapses." It's a good principle to live by, no?
@Warrior Princess: Thanks. Best of luck

I have a question though. There is something I didn't put in the text but wanted to suggest (think tides). Does it work when used in the context of this poem?