With Little Fingers

With little fingers he grabs the brush,
And splashes colors on a canvas.
He makes the art of many colors
Come together in unison.
"Which color should I use?"
His little voice asks me.

"Blue" I answer to him.
And with little fingers he dabs
His brush, in the paint.
And continues his collage of colors.

With little fingers he taps the keys
Of the Grand Piano.
Desiring to make music,
He asks me
"Can you teach me?"

I sit beside him on the bench,
I place my fingers on black and white,
And press each key that lies beneath
To make the desired noise.
With little fingers he mimicked
My movement, and smiled
When he heard the sound he made.

With little fingers he flips the pages
Of his favorite book.
"Please read to me,
The story of Jesus."
With tears in my eyes I reply
"Yes, Josiah. I'll read you His Story."

Truth be told, I almost forgot,
The very story that gave me a free life.
But here I am,
Reading my little brother
The story of a life time.
The story I fail to mirror.

The tears begin to pour
About the time he's on the cross.
Dying, his last words were
"Forgive them Father."

And with little fingers
Upon my own,
He held my hand
And refused to let go.
"It's okay, Meme.
He's in heaven now."

I know its not the best...any form of advice would be nice.


-BG-

This poem has evident charm, and the only corrections I'll make are technical ones.

babygirl12 wrote:I answer to him.
And with little fingers he dabs
His brush, in the paint.
And continues his collage of colors.

With little fingers he taps the keys
Of the Grand Piano.
Desiring to make music,
He asks me
"Can you teach me?"

I sit beside him on the bench,
I place my fingers on black and white,
And press each key that lies beneath
To make the desired noise.
With little fingers he mimicked
My movement, and smiled
When he heard the sound he made.

Technically speaking, you don't need any of the commas I've highlighted in red, but of course, due to your poetic license, you have every right to disregard this advice.

Secondly, consistency in tense is very important. If you "sit beside him on the bench" and "place [your] fingers on black and white," then his "little fingers ... mimic" in the present tense.

Speaking of which, "I place my fingers on black and white..." is purely brilliant.

Good work!

Thank you!!! :]