The Game of Lies and Rumors

The meaningless lies
That spread around
The meaningful cries
Tears fall to the ground

The lies spread
And gullible people believe them all
A child's confidence slowly will shed
It makes the unlucky kid fall

The frustration it causes
Because of one little thing said
The kid has some losses
Now the student's future is dead

Such a game
Not knowing what to do
Such a shame
Some people rue

This game isn't fun
I'll stop now
I think I'm done

But there's no way out
In the game of lies and rumors

I just want to shout
But no one will care
I just want to doubt
This just isn't fair

The good person's reputation turned bad
Because of the rumor's disease
The good person's mood now always mad
Because of the constant tease


Had to switch schools
Had to make new friends
All because of fools
The reputation needed to mend

Sadness and fear
All caused by a joke
All from a mean peer
This joke isn't funny for the unlucky folk

If you don't know if a rumor is true
Then don't believe it is
Because if you do

You could hurt someone
Without even knowing it
Now that game isn't fun



copyright March 24, 2010 maegardens

Hey there Mae! Bond here to review!

You've got a wonderful subject here, and a lot of good lines. The only thing is that the way you've repeated a lot of stuff twice in the same stanza, and a lot of it is just the same thing. It seems like I'm reading the same thing over, and over, and over again, which drives me away from the poem. So try rewriting it, taking out the repetition, not completely because I think it would be good with a little, but just so it isn't so repetitive. I'm trying to think of a better way to put that, but I can't. If you don't understand feel free to Pm me and I'll see if I can clarify .

Keep writing.

~Hope

*Edit* By the way your signature is awesome .

Hey Mae!

This is an example of telling and not showing! So what is telling? It's just saying, "This is so" instead of using your senses to describe it fully. The thing is, when you write poetry, you have to have a central conflict or theme of which you're talking about and you use this conflict to further probe into the poem and to delve into the layers of meaning. All you are saying is that lies are bad and that you don't want to play that game anymore. Go deeper. It'll be much better, honest.