I really like the way this poem is going, but it ends too abruptly, add some more to it! You could tell why you think the rain is raging, or what it wants to understand- or... something like that !
I'd love to read more!
~Mel
"Don't say 'the old lady screamed'- bring her on and let her scream." -Mark Twain
Writing is like traveling- you never know what's going to happen until you get there.
I have no idea what it's supposed to mean it's a tiny little color poem I put together in literally two minutes because I was board. I thought it would be fun to leave it up to interpretation. I guess I can add to it if you want me to.
I really don't like it when someone asks me to write more of a thing that I'd rather just let alone- I'm just saying that if you DO write more, I'd love to read it! ^_^
~Mel
"Don't say 'the old lady screamed'- bring her on and let her scream." -Mark Twain
Writing is like traveling- you never know what's going to happen until you get there.
I really liked this poem; I guess that's because how short it was. It was completely vague and left it on a loose end for interpretation. Also, I like how you didn't use the word grey at all during this poem, all-in-all it's short and sweet and to the point. Look forward to reading more of your work... Erin
liquid sunshine isnt meant to be kept in a jar, but printed onto pages
This was really nice. Very nice images of turbulent emotions and weather.
Every word felt well placed. I like the philosophical elements and the overall sparse quality. Truly, this was wonderful to read.
Thank you for sharing this with us. See you around.
–antimelrose
Sabbatical isn't the right word, but it almost is. loves like a hurricane/i am a tree/bending the weight of his wind and mercy/dcb grace finds beauty in everything... makes beauty out of ugly things/U2
I thought that your poem was really good. The imagry was great and so was the language and fluidity. Very few writers have good fluidity when writing poems. The only problem I had with this poem was that it could have used more punctuation between lines. Other than that I think you have done a great job and I look forward to seeing more of your work. -matt
I kind of get it- It makes me wonder what came down on you. I think you did use some good imagery.It is very cool:) I like your writing. It is very simple yet meaningful. Keep writing! I'll read your other one now! ~ Pacific
Come sail the stars with me Through the sky not through the sea Come sail the stars with me Take me hand and make believe Come sail the stars with me Through the sky not through the sea Come sail the stars with me Take me hand and make believe~JT Lloyd
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it was painfull to read!!!
