First Time

Why do I stop being me,
If it’s me in love why do you see someone else?
A look can stop me, a laugh can make me but silence can kill me,
Mountains of love but lonely and cold.
I want more to be with you
But you are further than ever from me.
An absence is greater with you, it pulls ever more at me,
I do not act myself is that good or bad?
If you fall for this man will you love me?
I cannot see if the truth is worse than the present.
I look in your eyes searching for the answer,
But is the question do you love me or
Do you know I love you?

I like this poem.

Why do I stop being me,

If it’s me in love why do you see someone else?

Punctuation: First line should end in a question mark, second line should have a comma after "love."

An absence is greater with you, it pulls ever more at me,

I do not act myself is that good or bad?

I don't understand the meaning of "An absense is greater with you." And the second line here is a run-on.

If you fall for this man will you love me?

I cannot see if the truth is worse than the present.

I don't understand the context of the first line here. And I think the second one is rather genius.

I look in your eyes searching for the answer,

But is the question do you love me or

Do you know I love you?

I'd put in a comma after "eyes." Is there any way you can set apart the two questions at the end, like with quotation marks? I think that would make this easier to read. Your punctuation is your main problem I think. Good ideas, it just takes some interpretation by the reader because the punctuation is a little off.

Cheers!
rachel

Quibbons Quill wrote:If you fall for this man will you love me?

This line seemed kind of out of place in my opinion.

Otherwise I liked it alot. It made me feel less lonely reading it because I appear to be going through a similar situation. Keep writing. It's good.