Young Writers Society

Life is long
Life is short
Life is everywhere
Life is nowhere
Life is happy
Life is sad
Life can't be seen
Life can't not be seen
Life is life

Once again, i am open to all comments.

um...this didn't do it for me...Your other poem was okay, but this was just full of repetition. Yes, I know it was meant to be repetitive, but I didn't like it! Anyway.. You don't really apply it to yourself, there is no emotition and you state the obvious (yes, I have been told that countless times). I personally, would add about two lines below each of the lines in this poem. i.e.
Life is long
(description/emotion)
(description/emotion)

Um..The last line killed me... Life is life????

In conclusion, I didn't really like this because of the repetition, but that's just me. You should definitly keep writing, but try to pick topics that you know in order to have emotition in your work.

very oriental. The sort of piece that's supposed to tell you, "okay, I've said that. Try to understand it, you probably do understand it, now try to put the peices together on your own. Meditate on this." or something.

This was boring. And way too repetitive. I didn't like it. And I think there was a typo in this line

Life can't be seem

I assume you meant seen?

Write something with emotion. When you're depressed or angry or even insanely happy. It makes the poem ten times better.

lol

Its like you were going to something really good an then you just ruined it with those words at the end... tut tut

I think you're all wrong shadowknights very good!

Can we say, "lame-o"?

Please try to steer away from describing to me what life is. I subscribe to my own philosophy, and this was little short of garbage. You did not persuade my thinking on what life is and certainly left many questions dangling at the end. "Life is life." Not too original, are we? As deeply profound as this could sound to a group of teenie-emo-boppers, ultimately this is a recitation of whatever depth you were clinging to. In a very Lacanian sense, you justified the rest of the poem with this line by saying, "I don't know what life is, but I do know that life is life." Well, thank you, Sherlock.

At any rate, life cannot be summed up in 30 words. Furthermore, you took troglodyte words to describe "life," but nowhere to be found was there a trace of imagery, simile, metaphor, alliteration, or any poetic device, or, for that matter, anything characteristic of a poem at all. The linebreaks were uneffective and you should have described life in the varying stages of "happy" and "not happy" with poetic verse, not a list of things. Keep in mind, a poem is rarely good as a list, especially when that list does nothing to evoke emotions.

Well firstly disagree with Brad, poetry and literature is partly about describing what life is for yourself through your words and words of others.

However this was ok, I do think it reminded me a bit of a clapping game, like the ones you used to play in the playground at school? There were some good poetic devices such as alliteration and the rhythm was interesting. But I think the poem as a whole didn't draw me any.

Meh, i agree that life cannot be summed up in 30 words. I wrote this a few years ago so that's why it isn't that great.

hey hun
i actually get this 1
im so proud
luv ya