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Young Writers Society


Dawn



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176 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 176
Thu Apr 07, 2005 4:26 pm
Muse says...



The first light touches upon the head,
Morning’s anointment.
The dew evaporates,
Inner chemicals mix and bubble
There is magic brewing,
In the pulp,
In the frail tissue movement.
A thrust upward
Firm
Persistent
The imperative of cellular wisdom
Ancient as the soul which sustains it
A fountain of energy
You rise ecstatic into the
Blue marbled sky
Embraced by
the pollen dusted sun.
"Sometimes we see a cloud that's dragonish,
A vapour sometimes like a bear or lion,
A towered citadel, a pendant rock,
A forked mountain, or blue promontory,
With trees upon't that nod unto the world,And mock our eyes with air.."
  





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148 Reviews


Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 148
Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:28 pm
ohhewwo says...



This is a good piece. That's all I have to say. Keep writing.
  





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685 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 685
Sat May 07, 2005 9:38 pm
Rei says...



Change "you" to "I" and maybe give it more of a rhythm. But otherwise this was great. Strong, vivid images, and NOT teen angst. I like it.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
  





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85 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 85
Sat May 07, 2005 9:43 pm
Chanson says...



wow, for me this poem had a weird erotic edge to it that i don'tthink you meant at all.

maybe it's just because i am extremely tired and aggravated.

good imagery though, i quite liked it.
  








I was flummoxed by fractious Franny's decision to abrogate analgesics for the moribund victims of the recent conflagration. Of course, to display histrionics was discretionary, but I did so anyways, implicating a friend in my drama to make the effect cumulative. I think a misanthrope would have a prosaic appellation, perhaps one related to autonomy and the rejection of anthropocentrism. I think they wouldn't think much of the prominence of watching the coagulation of tea to prognosticate future malevolent events, not even if those events were related to jurisprudence.
— Spearmint