Jilly (may offend)

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I was in a club, the music was loud,
When this girl stood out from the crowd.
She had one leg and soft red hair,
They called her Jilly, the nymphomanic leper.
She grooved to the beat, swaying her locks,
When her finger flew off into the DJ box.
She remained undeterred and winked at me,
So I carried her home for some drunken nookie.

I placed her down and it wasn't long,
Before I slipped inside her one legged thong.
She ordered me to lend a lick,
Though after a few strokes I dislodged her clit.
She flipped me over and said with glee,
"You know my favourite positions the missionary."
She had good balance, though sacrificed some toes,
And when I shot it came out her nose.
Later that night she told me to go,
Upset though I was, I had a nipple memento.




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that was...strange...and um...well...strange...
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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yeah is a bit, didn't really know what I was thinking the day I wrote this. Bit sick maybe but I thought I'll post it.




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Yeah...and don't forget...err...strange...
Gotta a find a woman be good to me,
Who won't hide my liquor, try to serve me tea.




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Haha, yeh strange but funny too! I laughed whilst I read. If that was your intention, well done! If it wasn't, ah well. I'm too far away for you to hit me.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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Dont worry it wasn't meant to be serious, think poetry gets abit too deep sometimes. Always good to lighten it up, even if the quality is a bit crap.




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Oh my God! That was terrible! And I amost hate myself because I can't stop laughing about it.
"When I shot it came out her nose."

Man that's some messed up imagery. The last line is gold.
That love is suffering is easy to see, for before the love becomes equally balanced on both sides there is no torment greater, since the lover is always in fear that his love may not gain its desire and that he is wasting his efforts.
Andreas Cappelanus, The Art of Courtly Love




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:? :shock:

OK, that was...odd...hilarious, but odd. I love the last line especially, and I definitely agree that sometimes poetry needs to be light as well as dark...or at the very least, shades of grey...[gives the poem another weird look] or something.
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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I sure hope you wern't writing this from experience ??? :-s




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Okay... This was strange yet quite good too! I thought the ending was very good: great twist! it was neither light nor dark, kind of a shade of grey, depending on what you feel at the time. I thought it was clever :D

I really hope this wasn't writing from experience!

Awesome job: keep writing!

Pgsgirl x
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Please don't bump old threads.

*locked*
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