Emotional Rant: Untitled

Lord ...
Why?

Is it because I don't believe in you?
Is it because you made a mistake?
Were they not deserving?

Was that baby meant to live or die?
Two months is not living, Lord,
Two months is just the beginning

And you take that away? The new,
grand entrance of life
The start of motherhood
Of fatherhood ends because of you

To take away life is taking away
a freedom, the journey of time.
But instead you take from us
the ultimate sacrifice,
that baby

As it lay looking up at her mothers face
As her mother cuddled her for the last time
Did you realize what you've done?
Do you realize it just was not worth it.

Time is time, but your clock is broken
And your estimation of life given is
So close to nothing it's not worth it
Not worth opening your eyes each day
Looking forward to your friends
Loving family

How can we forgive you? Your rules...
How do they apply to ALL of us?
You're your own loophole
And you sicken me, your time sickens me

Am I next?


I have been so disoppointed with this month.... several people have died, most have been people I knew, or who knew people I knew.... some have been actors... But never have I felt so hurt at the loss of my teachers BABY. Nothing is more tragic, in my god-honest opinion, than a waste of life, but such a short time to live? How can that be possible?

I wrote this... so if I believed in God... this is what I'd wish to say to Him.

you know what, this has got to be the first poem by you that i fully appreciated. you were fiery in emotional, showing true, uncliched anger - as it was true in you. this is realistic, as it is real. and you express a wonderful point in here. despite your lack of poetic language and rhythm, you kept me enrapt, as you can always keep an audience, and moved me this time. and for that, i can only applaud you.

when children die, i, also cannot still my passion.

Thank you *mourns*
I NEED A POETICALLY UNCLICHE HUG!
*cries*

I don't usually read the peoms on this site but I really liked yours and I sometimes feel the same way. You're a good poet.

I don't know what this applies to, but I know that you're upset about something and I feel bad for you *give TBR a poetically uncliche hug*
This is definitely one, if not THE, best poems you've posted, because it is just totally from the heart. It very nearly made me cry.

Yeowch and all the things that have actually made me proud have been nothing.

But somebody once told me that my emotions scare people off... Whatever I don't believe them anymore... I won't. I can't... forget it... *get really confused and walks away*

You were able to portray your feelings extremely well. You kept the reader interested and showed real belief and passion in what you were talking about.

Very good poem

It is very powerful. Slightly disturbing too -- it feels like you're yelling at me. Which is a rare feeling for me to get when I read anything. The raw emotion makes it. All in all, very solid poem.

Good emotional rant, but not much a poem for me. For some reason I didn't get the vision of you yelling at me like the others said they did. Although I untertood exactly what you were talking about and how you felt so it was a very successfully done emotional rant.

Hang in there TBR!

Hey, i liked this poem alot. This is really good, nice way to show emotion!

a really good poem TBR keep going

I don't think I'll be able to produce another poem like this... Perhaps a hate one to my dad. Yeah, that one will come soon.
Thanks for all the comments.

Don't be so cynical. Every poem is different, but another one you make can be just as good.

I really liked this. It was raw and passionate and very...palpable? Is that the word I'm looking for? I think so. This is especially meaningful because my mom's best friend died last week. Definitely one of your best pieces.

(Shivers)
More death now? What is wrong with this month... it can't be the cold...

Anyway thanks for all the comments everybody.... I'm also sorry for those who have lost people they loved or known in the past... 15 days?

Beware the Ides of March.